There is one type of delusion that is so universal and so harmful that it deserves special mention.
Most customers make this mistake, which clogs the clarity of their thinking. It's called " finding a good reason."
Customers have a habit of coming up with things just to feel good. It doesn't matter if the idea is wrong or the client doesn't have enough evidence to believe it. Many clients accept it as a basic and simple argument, which is that believing in a particular idea makes them feel good.
It is the defense of a position by the most pleasant, not logical or rational, argument. Simply put, it means that customers first feel, then reason.
Looking for a plausible cause is a highly destructive delusion. It destroys the perception of truth and implies that one side is correct while the other is useless. But the biggest harm is that customers stop looking for the truth at all. Instead, they spend time trying to find the most convincing way to demonstrate that they are right. After that, there is little time to find out if they were right from the start.
For some customers, the error can be fatal. Following this misconception can lead the client to a personal disaster that will constantly destroy his life. Search a valid reason for the symptoms protects the symptoms from the changes. It's like building a wall around pathology so nothing can get to it. The search for a good reason puts all the problems behind the lock and leads people away from their resolution.
Perhaps the best way to stop this error is to tell the client to recognize the human tendency to look for good reasons and compensate by actively looking for bad reasons. Often I say to clients, " Go and find the most unseemly reason for your conviction and match it with your best good reason. Then, when both reasons are in your head, it will be easier to see the real source of your problems."
Examples
Position: suffers from alcoholism.
Plausible reason: I had a poor unhappy childhood.
Unseemly reason: I'm a drunkard who won't admit it to himself.
Position: suffers from phobia.
Plausible reason: I'm an emotionally sensitive person who notices dangers others just don't see.
Unseemly reason: I am a coward who lacks the audacity to face his fears.
Position: problems with marriage.
Plausible reason: my husband is indifferent to my needs.
Unseemly reason: I'm a spoiled child who doesn't want to contribute to a relationship.
Obviously, not only customers are subject to this misconception. We all make that mistake. Here are examples of this.
Position: fined for speeding.
Plausible reason: these cops have nothing to do but harass the poor honest citizens.
Unseemly reason: I'm an arrogant son of a bitch who thinks the laws don't apply to him.
Position: political conservatism.
Plausible reason: I'm a patriot who wants to implement the best policies my country has taken decades to create.
Unseemly reason: I want to keep all the money I earned under the old system, and I don't want anyone to get any of it.
Position: political liberalism.
Plausible reason: I want to improve society from all sides so that it meets the interests and needs of all people.
The unseemly reason: I don't have the skills, the work ethic, or the courage to acquire them in a competitive world, so we have to change everything to give me a chance in the new system.
Position: Freudian psychotherapist.
Plausible cause: This is the only system for dealing with the underlying causes of emotional problems, everyone else is working on the superficial symptoms.
Unseemly reason: Clients will take years to complete a full course of therapy. Think how much money I can get.
Position: cognitive-behavioral therapist on the Board.
Plausible reason: This is the most thoroughly researched and scientifically accurate method.
Unseemly reason: I Can not stand uncertainty, emotions and feelings are vague and confusing, I need everything to be clear and orderly. (as accurately said, I always so regarded)
Position: new time psychotherapist.
A plausible reason: I am convinced that we need to treat a person as a whole-both spiritual and emotional, and with its behavioral aspects - and not to dismember it into small parts.
Unseemly reason: I will never be able to take courses of scientific therapy. My theory is so vague and unsteady that no one can tell if I know anything at all or not.
"Search for a good reason" is similar to the concept of "rationalization", which has long been used in psychology. We use this concept more as self-reinforcing cognition; a person believes in an idea simply because believing in it makes him feel better. We contrast this meaning with the older psychodynamic views of rationalization as a defense mechanism or psychological strategy that avoids unwanted subconscious information entering consciousness.