Psychologists have one huge advantage: we read mountains of books and spend a lot of hours on training what to do with the client during psychological consultation. But customers have to learn all this in the process. And at the same time waste your precious time and money.
I thought I'd write some tips for clients to level the playing field.
Use for an hour
Psychotherapy can be a long, difficult but rewarding journey.
A 50-minute psychotherapeutic session is called a "therapeutic hour"by psychologists. Use your paid time to the full, coming 10 minutes before the hour. You will be able to take a breath, gather your thoughts and prepare.
To record
The psychologist works with you on consultation only 50 minutes a week (or 2 times a week), and other 166-167 hours a week you remain with yourself. Psychotherapy will work better if you are:
write down what you learned or understood during the session,
record your homework,
during the week, mark changes in yourself or some areas within yourself that you would like to change.
What I want? How I feel?
These two questions are the most important for those who do not know where to start a conversation with a psychologist.
Try something new
Psychotherapy is a great opportunity for those who believe the mind — to believe the feelings; those who prefer to listen — to try to talk; those who behave passively — to try to be assertive.
You can also learn how other people react to you and your "antics."
If you feel that you are stuck at the stage of" talking about the weather "and unimportant little things like" how I spent last week", or that you have nothing to say and you answer out of politeness or silence — think about it, it is likely that there are some deeper things that you may not want to admit to yourself.
Superficial " reports "and silence can be the" signal " of something complex, and the time is right to find out. Ask yourself, "I Wonder why I am now..." or " Honestly, somewhere deep, I feel…«
In other words, try.
Ask and say anything
Sometimes it happens that the client's strict internal censor does not allow him to ask a question. Because it seems that such a question is stupid to ask (it is impossible, not according to the rules, strange, etc.). The client is allowed to ask anything, but the therapist has to deal with the answer to this question and with the boundaries that it affects.
The same goes for wanting to say something, even if your thought seems silly or inappropriate to the situation. Psychotherapy is one of the few places where you can say whatever comes to mind — because every detail can be important.
I often ask clients if they have their own theory as to why this happened to them. There can be any number of" smart and scientific " theories of formation of various psychological difficulties, but in almost all cases, the client's own theory at least suggests the direction and at most is completely accurate. And at the same time very many clients somehow uncomfortable to Express their own theory. Better talk.
"Balance check»
You can check at any time how well you work together with the therapist, how well you understand each other, whether psychotherapy helps or causes pain. Ideally, this issue is a bilateral discussion. See paragraph above.
Psychotherapy is a relationship
Psychotherapy is a good place to try something new.
Psychotherapy is a process of several, shall we say, layers. One layer is what is happening on the merits of your question, and the second layer is your relationship with the therapist and with psychotherapy.
Your feelings about the therapist and the therapy are very important! So please also sure. Do not be afraid to discuss them. Often it is the discussion of these relations that moves the process a step forward.
Ask to explain
Some psychologists work so long (or so much) that they think clients are quite capable of understanding everything they say. If the therapist says something like" the target is a cognitive shift, " then ask them to explain what that means and what it might have to do with you.
Don't be afraid of ending
From the very beginning of psychotherapy, discuss its end. Remember what I said earlier: psychotherapy is a relationship. A huge number of people do not know how or are afraid to end a relationship well.
Indeed, where it is easier to just take-and abruptly cut off. Moreover, if I part with the people and processes already used. Or you don't know any other way. Or did not work before in the good, all bad, Yes bad. Psychotherapy may for the first time be something you have parted with well.
On the other hand, many customers are afraid of the end because of the question like " Yes, I feel better now, but what if everything comes back again as soon as I stop coming here?"To deal with these concerns is just a piece of cake. If you have any, just say it, don't keep it to yourself.
Allow yourself to change
Many people seem to want to change, but as soon as it comes to real effort — and the reaction to it in the form of change-they have a sense of discomfort, resistance and rejection. It's good to accept that if you're looking for change, things can change. And in the end, it may be that much more has changed than you originally thought.
Eating disorders and depression, for example, can require a big rethink of your attitude toward life. A small "twist" settings here will not be enough.