In my practice, probably every second client voices a "complaint" about low self-esteem. Most visitors to this site came here precisely because they were interested in how to deal with self-doubt. I say this to emphasize how widespread these concerns are today.
There are perceptions that low self-esteem (or self — doubt) is an evil to be fought. Like, this is the cause of all possible troubles and failures in human life. Relationship not working out? Self-esteem low. Is there something wrong with your work? You're just insecure. If only it were that simple. First of all. And secondly, self-esteem and confidence / uncertainty do not directly affect your performance! It depends on your other qualities, skills and properties.
In General, illustrate you opinion Elena on this issue. I am ready to subscribe under each word told here.
Self-esteem-the scourge of modern society?
In the process of writing an article with Elena Gens and reflecting on the scientific foundations of my own private practice, I began to deal with psychological studies of self-esteem. The completeness of the review to claim more difficult than ever — 15000 (!) articles in scientific journals on this topic only in the last 30 years, and the flow of publications does not dry up; the number of books on self — help — nurturing self-esteem at home, so to speak-and it is terrible to think. Nevertheless, I wanted to share some of the considerations that appeared in the process.
Consistency of research results ("high self-esteem "is good in all contexts;" low self — esteem " is the main scourge of humanity) turns out to be a Mirage.
First, according to research, "high self-esteem "is mainly related to people's self-image (which, strictly speaking, just follows from the definition): people with" high self-esteem " are convinced that they are attractive wonderful fellows and that their lives are happier than others.
This, of course, provides some pleasant feelings, but does not guarantee success in work, the presence of leadership qualities or a happy family life.
On the contrary, a number of studies show that people with high self-esteem behave more aggressively and sacrifice significant chunks of reality every day to maintain a rosy picture of themselves that does not coincide with the opinions of others and the level of achievements they demonstrate.
Thus, "high self — esteem" as well as "low" is, to a large extent, a thing-in-itself: a characteristic of a person's self-description that, of course, affects subjective well-being, but does not even completely define it. The ways in which a person achieves and maintains a particular self – relationship are fundamental, even from the point of view of psychological well — being.
Secondly, the variety of definitions and concepts used is impressive. For example, " self-esteem "is defined as" the basic feeling or degree of self-respect", and as" self-acceptance + self-esteem", and as a result of self-evaluations on individual parameters. Many authors refuse to interpret it at all: they are content with measurements and "conclusions".
How are others ' self-esteem?
And in this regard, I found extremely interesting studies comparing the self-relation of representatives of different cultures. These studies show that "self-esteem" as we know it in our lives is a product of culture. And, for example, the Japanese do not share any American concern about this topic (almost all the work on the topic is made on the material of surveys of North Americans), nor the ways of its construction: they are much more willing to criticize themselves, attribute achievements to external influences, and failures – insufficient efforts on their part.
And for me, this confirms the views shared by a number of psychotherapeutic schools.
For a good life, we need some picture of ourselves that helps us navigate the community and build our activities — conveniently and effectively if that picture is relatively realistic and flexible.
And for a good life it is important that this " picture yourself»:
fed on the basic feeling and decision that "I'm fine" ("I have the right to be myself", " what I am-so you can»);
a person would have a lively internal dialogue, allowing him to live, guided by himself in a comfortable for his culture limits.