When we talk about anxiety and fears, phobias and obsessions, it is necessary to keep in mind one very characteristic feature for such States: intolerance of uncertainty.
In simple words, a person can not stand when he is waiting for the unknown ahead of him. Often people can not stand any surprises and want to guarantee the most accurate and known to them the future. At the same time," head " seems to be clear that it does not happen, it is impossible, but it is very unbearable want to know everything in advance. Because if it is unknown and there are no guarantees, it causes terrible anxiety, anxiety and discomfort. And now it is impossible to tolerate. Something must be done. So it was formed, this intolerance of uncertainty, uncertainty, uncertainty.
There is also the concept of "tolerance of uncertainty", which essentially means the opposite: the ability to tolerate uncertainty and vague circumstances.
Examples of intolerance to uncertainty
Let's say some girl, let's call her Anna, goes to the doctor about regular abdominal pain. The doctor sends Anna for ultrasound and asks her to pass tests. She asks the doctor a thousand clarifying questions. She wants the doctor to convince her she doesn't have cancer. But the doctor for some reason does not want to convince her and answers all questions evasively: "it's too early to talk about anything, let's make a diagnosis…«
This causes Anna a new round of anxiety, she returns home, spends a lot of time on the Internet in search of information that she thinks could calm her down, but nothing is found. Images flash through Anna's mind of her dying alone, suffering terribly, and her daughter left an orphan for life. Anna cries and wants her husband to calm her down. Then mom. Then girlfriend. All close people repeat only "Do not worry, perhaps will manage, do not read the Internet, do not take to heart..." Despite all this, Anna continues to worry and can not sleep.
This includes the insanely scary question "what if I'm the exception?", which is asked in response to arguments like "Your chances of dying in a plane crash are one in two million." The answer to the question " what if I'm an exception and die in tomorrow's flight?"it doesn't seem to be right away, so it also causes an attack of intolerance to uncertainty.
More example
Avoidance:
Not to discuss disturbing subject with close
Don't try something new
To refuse a new project at work, explaining it by some artificial obstacles, for example, the fact that you need to spend more time with children. Or not to start repairs in the house, saying that there is not enough money
Agree to a new project with a condition like " as soon as something turns out..., I immediately get out of the project»
Postpone going to the Bank for the proceedings on the loan taken because you allegedly do not understand the procedure of the proceedings
Postponing a conversation with a colleague after a conflict, explaining that you can not yet understand what will be the reaction of colleagues to your initiative
Taking on too much responsibility:
Do not assign subordinates some things, because you are not sure of the quality of their work
Do not allow any of the family members in the kitchen for cooking, as only you cook to make sure that the food of your loved ones quality and balanced
Record your spouse (spouse) to doctors
Do not allow a teenage son to spend the night with a friend (taking into account that the friend is from a normal family, etc.).)
"Throw" at the same time on different things:
Send resumes to several companies from completely different fields of activity, in case suddenly something will interest you
Do several things at the same time: clean the apartment, order by phone delivery and cook
Finding lots of information before making a decision:
Reading a large number of travel guides and websites-before even choosing a destination for your next holiday
Ask different people about the same thing, on the same topic — before you make a decision
Too long to go shopping in order to buy a small gift for a spouse)
Review of decisions:
Return of purchased clothes to the store due to the fact that you are not sure that it fits you well or looks
The decision not to sell the apartment-after the decision to sell it has already been made
Search for confirmation from loved ones:
Ask husband (wife), was whether acceptable your behavior in such something situation (given, that you have no lapses in memory for various reasons)
Repeat "sorry I'm late" several times, addressing apologies to different people to make sure no one is offended
Rechecking actions that are supposed to be performed mechanically or automatically:
Additional check if the door is locked
Rereading the text to make sure you understand everything correctly
"False" self-belief:
When faced with a difficult or new case for you, say to yourself in an overly positive tone: "I can handle it! It's nothing!"- and yet not a bit to believe it
How do people with an intolerance of uncertainty act?
This intolerance plays an important role in the formation of anxiety disorders. All people differently are shifting the uncertainty: someone better, someone worse. Uncertainty can affect different spheres of life. Maybe you are more comfortable with uncertainty about your health, but much worse-uncertainty in relationships or in work? There is a test to determine how well you tolerate uncertainty.
What do people with such intolerance usually do? They begin to look for certainty: they look for support from relatives, make some lists, break the Internet, retake tests, recheck their work, avoid any activity and so on. Attention question: as similar behavior helps get rid of anxiety? Answer: nothing. You get short-term relief, but very quickly anxiety returns in the same volume, if not more. The "joke" is that such behavior is meaningless, because uncertainty is an integral part of life.
Accordingly, if 100% confidence is simply impossible, then any search for it will lead to increased anxiety. Regular visits to the doctor-this may be a good idea, but to visit the doctor every week with the aim of "what if there is something in advance" - it is meaningless, in no way guarantees that in 5-10-15... years you will be healthy, leads to a waste of time, money and increasing anxiety.