Recently I read an article in which an interesting topic was discussed about the Winners, Non-Winners (Serednyakov) and Losers by Eric Bern typology.
About what properties each of the types according to Bern has can be read in Bern's books or on the Internet. I was interested in one aspect, which I will tell you about.
If a person is the Winner in life, he perceives life as a wonderful Game, and one who becomes a partner with the Winner in the Game always wins. Because the Winner has a life program: “Win - Win”.
Take, for example, a winning psychologist. If he has a Winner position, then he always has many customers. In this case, no high stakes psychologist clients do not stop. Because they understand that they will benefit.
The Winners have the “Win-Lose” program.
Again, take the invincing psychologist. Either he has successful sessions, then unsuccessful. Some of the clients came up, some didn’t. What is the solution for a psychologist? Narrow out your counseling and therapy opportunities so as not to fall into trouble. Or expand your capabilities as a therapist through expanding the picture of the world, through study, and most importantly through the perception of this life as a fun and enjoyable Game.
Move on. Losers. His program is the next “Lose-Lose."
An example of a failed psychologist will fail. Because losers cannot be psychologists by definition. What can be hidden in other sectors cannot be hidden in counseling and therapy. If the psychologist is a loser, all clients will simply leave him, or they won’t come to him at all, and he will be forced to change his profession.
Perhaps I will dwell on the Losers in more detail. Because even if you are the Winner, but entered the Game with the Loser, you will lose. In the best case, step aside, shrugging bewilderedly, as it happened that this time such a failure.
In the attitude of the loser, the failure of the whole event that will take place is sewn up. These people initially come to the Game, knowingly or unconsciously believing that everything is over. Further movement is useless. At the same time, they can both express their apathy, fear and grief in the Game (and therefore it is easy to identify them), or they can hide it.
It’s more complicated here. People who personally experience hidden hostility towards other people, or even experience hostility towards the World as a whole, are not so noticeable as Losers. They are difficult to avoid, because not all people are sensitive and will feel hostility, and if they do, they will not know what to do. Well, yes, and it would seem, what difference is he hostile to me or not?
If the Loser does not enter the Game with the person, but simply welcomes, walking along the corridor, then even if the person feels hostility, this will not affect him much. But if you have to work with him ...
If the Loser comes to the company, the company is likely to begin to suffer losses. If such a client comes to a psychotherapist, the therapist will fail (unless, of course, the Loser did not come just on this issue and does not want to make out this point)). If a person goes with the Loser to rest, then the rest will be ruined. And so on and so forth.
What to do if you are faced with the Winner - play and get your benefits.
What to do if you encounter the Invincible, try to go at least to zero, or maybe even manage to win.
What to do if you encounter a Loser, understand that you are faced with a Loser. And if this experience was useful, and most likely it was not just useful, but needed - analyze and remember it.