One of the common myths about psychologists is that a psychologist simply tells the client what he "should", including when he says" allegedly " about his feelings.
There are certainly different points of view on this and different styles of work, but if you look at the whole, the vast majority of my respected colleagues (and I myself) in their work are sincere. That doesn't mean I say everything that comes into my head, no. Some things are inappropriate at this point in time, with this client, in this formulation. But if I say something, then I really think and feel it.
Moreover, the ability to be Alive and Present, in my opinion, is one of the key skills/tools of the psychologist in the work.
If I say to a client ," I'm sad that this happened to you, " I'm really sad. If I say that any action of the client is significant and I consider it let small, but a victory, I really so consider.
This seems to be a normal human interaction, but it's amazing how we are not used to this and are not ready.
Very often clients perceive a psychologist as a doctor: a specialist who needs to be told in detail and honestly about what worries him, so that he makes the correct diagnosis and prescribes the correct treatment.
In fact, psychotherapy is a special kind of deep healing relationship in which two personalities meet and are enriched through interaction. Simply one of these personalities understands psychological mechanisms, is able to notice that occurs, to cope with it, and builds the relations in favor of development of the second.
Interestingly, even when a person knows about it, it is still very difficult to readjust. Of course, this is a certain protection with which we will work, but if we take this as a symptom of society, then how are we used to seeing each other not as people, but as social roles. And what we do not see the person, and see perform the role.
The difference is subtle, but you can feel it in the following example.
Think of someone close to you. Very close people. And imagine that he was somehow replaced by someone identical. I mean, it's a different person, but one who looks the same and behaves the same. He even has the same memories. Question:will it replace the "original"? Not me.
Now imagine that You have come to the doctor. A good doctor, sensible. And imagine that there was a similar substitution. Will you have a problem with that? If you perceive it only as a specialist, then no, there will be no problems. By and large, even if you replace it with a high-tech robot that could look the same, behave the same, think and talk the same, there would be no difference.
So psychotherapy takes place at the moment of meeting between two People, Personalities, Worlds. By the way, it is a Meeting that I call what happens with my client. Not a consultation or a session.
I think the word "meeting" is the best way to describe the situation. And if a Meeting with a client happens, it is always something meaningful for me, there is no fatigue from the fact that I am "loaded with problems" or something like that. This is a living, real human interaction, in which any feelings are appropriate and accepted, and through any difficulties you can go together and go out to the light.