This question is often asked by parents to family psychologists. And everyone by the word "punishment" means its own meaning, its vision of the problem. Someone thinks that to punish-it means to beat your child, and someone goes crazy that forbade his child to watch cartoons.
Everything depends on the parents themselves, on their social status, education, upbringing. It is necessary to deal with each specific case. But here I will not even touch on the topic of sadistic parents and parents with a low level of intelligence, who consider the child their property, and therefore do with them what they want. They're not my parents! And that's a different topic.
Punishment - is the use of any unpleasant or undesirable measures against the child in response to disobedience or wrong, from the point of view of the parent, behavior. Example: Your daughter-a first-grader categorically refuses to do homework and no persuasion does not work. What parents do, they prohibit the child from all activities and toys, so decided to punish his daughter, do not beat in the end! In response, the child has hysterics, tears and resentment. Was it worth punishing her?
My answer is a categorical "no"! It is necessary to talk to the child, explain what these homework, you can even put pressure on the pride than you are worse than others, just do not promise a new toy, otherwise the child will never do anything "for nothing" will not do, and if, indeed, nothing works, let the child go to school with unlearned tasks, it will not last long, Your daughter will understand and she will be ashamed in front of other students.
Another example: a five-year-old son brought someone else's toy from kindergarten, saying he took it to play. Parents scold the baby, saying that he stole it, that he should be ashamed, bringing, thus, the child to tears. Why did you have to raise your voice at him?
Just go to kindergarten in the morning and return her quietly to explain that someone else can not take. After all, children at this age do not understand the difference - just pick up and steal, and Your task is to explain it.
Here's another example: Your 13-year-old son beat up a classmate. You are summoned to school. You are angry! And absolutely do not listen to his son, who is justified, they say, he is not to blame, he deserved it. And You so want to beat him or, at worst, give a strong slap on the head.
And I only listen to the son, as if You were angry, to try to deal with the situation, and the next day to go to school and is worthy to listen to the teacher. And then, having understood, take action. Here, in any case, rights Your son or is to blame, must explain, that under what situation he should not raising hand nor on whom. Well, if it happens again, you can punish.
This does not mean corporal punishment, this should never be done! Don't humiliate your child! Smart parents punish the child with what he likes most, such as playing computer, watching TV, chatting on the phone, etc.
As a family psychologist in Moscow, I can advise the main thing: "Whatever happens to Your child and no matter how old he was, starting from birth, teach yourself to hear, understand, feel and respect Your child." And most importantly love his! Love will not spoil!