It is easy to give advice to young couples just married when their love is fresh and hot, and there are no negative emotions behind their backs.
We'll talk about couples who have been married for 15 years or more. As a family psychologist I think that sometimes it is very difficult to carry your love for many years, because everyday life often destroys this feeling of disorder, lack of money, mutual reproaches and quarrels that arise inevitably in any family.
And even if these relationships were mutual and passionate, one of the spouses after some couple of years cools, cools to his second half. Motivating it with the fact that she grew stout after childbirth and ceased to watch herself, and she, in turn, accuses him of coldness, there is no twinkle former in eyes and gifts ceased to give.
And such families live out of habit, because of children or apartment circumstances. If you still managed to maintain respect for each other, loyalty, sympathy, if you consider yourself relatives, then nothing terrible happens in such families.
People live for themselves, raise their children, take care of them, make plans for their future, and for their joint, already dream of grandchildren. And, like, all well. That's how most families live. Unfortunately or not, that's another topic.
And there are other families where there are no feelings left for each other-no respect, no loyalty, no close relationships, not to mention love. Simply live why something with each other, as neighbors, utterly not thinking about this. Out of habit!
And one day one of them met another, or the other, it doesn't matter. After all heart of was freely, and man, regardless of age always wants feelings. Then there is a family tragedy!
Having lived so many years in marriage, having a child, maybe not one, having a large family, a common living space and a lot of things in common, what to do? How to live? And" there " love! Moreover, such strong and passionate, which has never experienced not even imagined that you can love!
This is where you have to be very careful of your family. Do not blame anyone, reproach, offend and even more quarrel. First, deal with yourself, inside yourself, honestly and thoroughly weigh all the pros and cons, imagine what will follow the separation.
Who will you hurt the most, what the consequences may be, and how your family can bear it. After all, in any case, everyone will suffer, including you! In this situation it is necessary to act wisely, wisely. If you are not confident in your abilities, make an appointment for family counseling, consult with elders or with friends who have experienced this condition.
But just do not" chop with hot", at the peak of their new emotions and feelings. Give yourself time to think. After all, it is always easy to destroy, and it is difficult to keep a family. Think!
It is impossible to live life without quarreling with anyone, without resenting anyone, without being upset and sad. We all experience these emotions and it's good! After all, we're human!
But how to survive the betrayal of a close friend whom you have trusted all your thoughts, yourself? How to forgive? Maybe you shouldn't. After all and betrayal can be different. You can just randomly somewhere to blurt out, to say too much, but you can do it on purpose, specifically to hurt the other.
For example: a friend told your lover that you have another admirer. What did she expect? To break you up with him or just "blurted"? Or another example: a friend began to court your wife, very persistently, with seductive words, while hinting at your dishonesty and frivolity. Wife to you with claims. How to understand your friend?
Maybe they weren't friends at all. Not everyone is able to be friends, as well as love. These feelings are experienced by only 10% of the world's population, this is, unfortunately, the statistics.
Not everyone can be devoted, empathetic, at any moment coming to the rescue. To rejoice and suffer with you, to show care and compassion, to help in any request and not to refuse anything. Be near, be with your ally, reliable mate. I would like to have such a friend!
But, mostly, we consider their friends schoolmates, classmates, neighbor or colleague on work. People who happened to be in our way. Just a community of interests brought together, the opportunity to spend time together, common events and interests.
We so easily call friends people not applying for this, for some reason, requiring dedication and attention. And they, in turn, do not even understand what you want from them. For them, friendship is to sit gossip, drink a glass or two, and you can go on vacation or to the country. Have a good time with a comfortable person and only! So what do we want from these "friends" and whether they should be offended, angry, sort things out?
As a psychologist-consultant, I advise you to first understand your attitude to a friend, analyze your feelings for this person, and only then make a claim. To understand – really this man is a real friend or just a friend, on which to rely in serious cases is not worth it, and trust is not necessary, and just have a good time.
But in any case, do not put up with betrayal – just stop any relationship without finding out all. And, if you are lucky, you will still have reliable and loyal friends!