The question of concern to almost every parent of a teenager. No matter who it is, boy or girl, problems with the child, unfortunately, are inevitable. Even very competent, psychologically and pedagogically savvy parents can not avoid conflicts with their own child. And this is, indeed, a very difficult period in their relationship.
Where does it all begin?
In boys and girls, the transition age begins at different times. Girls 12 – 13 years, in boys somewhat later – 13 – 14. But, in principle, the symptoms are the same. Not only that, during this period, the child changes externally (rapid growth, voice changes, acne, increased sweating, etc.), there are psychological changes. Teenager becomes rude to parents, elders, teachers. He tries to deceive, is secretive, does not make contact, withdraws into himself.
Many Teens at this age begin to swear and speak foul language. There is a sexual interest in the opposite sex. It is important to know that his increased irritability and mood swings are associated with hormonal restructuring of the whole body. Therefore, this age is called transitional! He sometimes does not know what is happening to him, what drives him at a certain moment.
How not to spoil the relationship with the child? Recommendations of the family psychologist are as follows:
Every parent should understand and feel his child and try to help him through this difficult time. For this purpose it is desirable to observe the following:
1. It is very important to establish a trusting relationship with a teenager. Talk to him, share your experiences, including mistakes.
2. Be interested in his life, Hobbies, try to be modern, for a teenager it is very important, they like fashionable and" advanced " parents.
3. In any case, do not criticize your children, especially girls, their appearance and manner of dress. After all, as a rule, at this age children become ugly, someone has a swollen nose, many are spoiled by a strong acne, constantly greasy hair.
4. Do not try to be "correct" parents, do not read endless lectures, morals. Children understand what is good and what is bad. They know that they need to learn, think about their future, how to behave in society. Otherwise teenagers are closed, begin to lie defensively, parents become unbearable for them.
5. It is important not to conflict with children, not to swear and not to quarrel. It can push the teenager to go outside, to run from the house from strict and annoying parents. Be tolerant and calm towards the child. Take care of his nervous system.
Parents need to understand-this is the most difficult and responsible period in the formation of the child's personality. At this time, finally develops its character, tendencies. And that in adult life he had no complexes and problems, be attentive to him, helpful, respectful.
You know, the child is not just capricious or harmful, in this period he is experiencing very strong changes in himself, sometimes without understanding himself and what is happening to him. So help him! Love it and become a reliable support!
In severe conflict situations, when there is no possibility to resolve the impasse in the relationship, one of the options is to find a good family psychologist in Moscow, discuss your problems and maybe find the right solution. The main thing to keep a good and friendly communication with your own child!