Alien aunt and your child
Previously, children could be criticized for their actions from any aunt who would not like their behavior. Now it has become fashionable not to make comments to other people's children, and if there are problems, talk with his mother. Personally, I think this is overkill. You can always correctly, without anger, stop the child that is playing, which, in excitement, beats its peers in the sandbox.
Another trend is gaining momentum among mothers - this is an active defense of children from the comments of other aunts (and uncles, if that).
I heard that mothers teach children to respond to any aunt: "You cannot comment on me."
If someone else’s aunt makes a remark incorrectly, then mom gets a great opportunity to speak out to her without leaving the playground. If the mother does not have the courage to do it right away, then she will discuss the situation at home with her relatives in paints, determining where the alien aunt should go with her comments.
And the child is watching, absorbing.
Mother protects the child ..?
I thought about how such skirmishes influence, when I watched a couple of times the condition of my oldest child, if I had to arrange mini-showdowns.
My child tensed, cringed, worried, I would even say, suffered in those moments. But my ego flew ahead of me, sanctifying the path with my own light, and I sincerely believed that putting someone in their place would be the best option.
A recent incident with me and my daughter made me take a fresh look at the problem of “hassles”, and I don’t know if I can be the same).
We flew this morning in an airplane. And one aunt sat behind my child. At some points in her behavior, it became clear that inside she was not filled with calm
At some point, she extended her legs next to my child’s chair, and the child stepped on these legs. Then the aunt screeched and stepped forcefully onto my child’s feet with the words "tired of me, always coming."
It’s not worth talking about the fact that her legs were right under my child’s chair, and my daughter had the right to stomp next to her chair as much as she wanted, it doesn’t really matter.
In the first second, a wave swept over me, you know what, I wanted to answer symmetrically.
However, I managed to look at my aunt and the child.
Firstly, aunt. She herself was stunned by what she had done. I pressed myself into a chair.
Secondly, a daughter. Here is the most interesting. The daughter was embarrassed. But she did not feel offended. Most likely, she assessed the situation as "the bottom of the girl stepped on the foot of another girl, because she stepped on her." No more.
And I realized that the child does not suffer. That my intervention is not necessary. But if I upload a scandal to the whole plane, call the stewardess, etc., then such a disassembly of the child is very traumatic, this is for sure.
She will worry herself, will see that I am on a platoon, and will be even more upset. Tension for the rest of the flight, for the whole day, or maybe something will be imprinted for a very long time? Why does she need this?
Somehow all these thoughts flashed through me instantly, and it was decided not to react. Rather, smile at my daughter, make it clear that I support her, and that’s all.
This situation helped me to feel that the interests of the children also lie in other planes, and that I can do more for the child, teach her more if I demonstrate a calm reaction.
After all, a calm reaction to such cases - is it not a value in life?