Recently, I as a family psychologist practicing in Moscow, faced with very interesting observations. Often I am consulted by young and very pretty girls with only one psychological problem – what to do to avoid the fear of loneliness? All of them need psychological help and support, advice and understanding of their problems.
They either study at prestigious universities in the city, or have already completed their education. Literate, well-mannered, fashionable and superficially very attractive. It would seem that they then have to be a wonderful life, fabulous and well-established. And each of them wants to have a family, a good decent husband and children to boot! Only characters have many different and this naturally. Someone is softer, kinder and more fun, and some of them are more rational and serious, but the problem is the same for all – to keep your boyfriend with all your strength, so as not to remain alone!
And this is the main misconception of these young ladies. Almost every one of them was in a relationship, living together, and had just broken up. The reason separation always one-a favorite is gone. Conducting a conversation, it turns out that at first everything is very wonderful – love, tenderness and pleasure, then carping, quarrels, even scandals, reproaches and all this from my clients! It is not so Packed up, we want to meet, then his mother does not like, and then earns little! And this they consider normal! "I'm telling him the truth! I want the best!"And quite sincerely do not understand why men leave?
This is the help of a psychologist-to understand to understand what really happened? Why young people can not get along with each other, why not brought their relationship to marriage? Because in this article write about girls, then male version of view not let us. But for women a lot of questions:
"what makes you think you have to reform your men?"
- why do you always have to make comments?
- why do you have the right to criticize and forbid?
- why do you hurt loved ones suspicions and doubts in their feelings?
- why insult and arrange tantrums on any occasion, not sparing the nerves of his chosen one?
"why dare you complain to his relatives or friends?"
- why do not you save your feelings, allowing yourself sharpness and tactlessness in relation to a loved one?
Questions much more and, in each case, there are many others, it depends on the person. My most important question is-why don't you cherish and appreciate each other's feelings? Why only think about yourself? Because of the relationship we have to work, and every day, every time there's a problem or conflict situation! And then with here fear to remain one? First, we behave as we want, then, having lost a loved one, we cry and suffer from loneliness. And only after parting are willing to do anything, if only he returned!
My dear girls, learn to be gentle and delicate in relationships, realizing that you are next to a completely different person, with his own character and his own habits. Men should be cherished, praised and pampered, this is their nature, and in gratitude you will receive love, tenderness, care, and well-being. It is impossible to shout at men, only quietly to discuss the arisen problem. But talk is necessary and required, it is impossible to gloss over the situation and relations need to find out only with dignity and without reproach, and abuse. Learn to be smart and tactful in relationships, because it depends on you your future. And the result of your joint efforts will be a strong and reliable marriage! Then you do not have to seek the services of a psychologist and no psychological help is needed. And another important tip – you should create at home such an atmosphere that your loved one ran home every night, wanting only one thing-to quickly see and hug your beloved! Then you certainly will not face loneliness!