So the human psyche is arranged – everyone likes compliments and praise, and criticism in his address, even from a loved one perceive badly and with resentment. Psychologists believe that every person is very proud and vain, and criticism is usually a negative judgment about something, an indication of shortcomings.
There are different forms and types of criticism:
- unfair. Criticism made by people who don't have information or are just in a bad mood, sometimes deliberate, deliberately throwing you off balance to confuse and disorientate for a while. An example is the situation when you worked all day, without raising his head, trying to accomplish the task set before you, and, tired, decided to sit for a while, fixing a glance "nowhere" here comes the boss and seeing your blank stare, satisfied with the beating, and even screaming. Or-the wife all day brought the apartment in order and prepared dinner, and the husband, having come from work in a bad mood, from a threshold: "and what you did the whole day? Look what you look like!"What are the expressions:" What do you allow yourself?"or" How can you?"made by complete strangers in public places! About what justice these remarks can be to speak!
- offensive, unfounded. Criticism has no justification based on the negative opinion expressing a person's, usually affecting the appearance or certain traits of your character, causing irritation and resentment. Everything, as a rule, begins with the school bench, when the teacher in front of everyone in the class makes a snide remark about your hair and not very smart look. Or at work the chief at all colleagues speaks about your short skirt and, respectively, immoral behavior and so on. We often hear in the back of caustic and offensive words about us.
- fair criticism. Remarks, pointing to a certain your action or deed, reasonable and explained. As a rule, such criticism is always constructive and useful, forcing us to improve and change for the better. For example: the boss points out certain flaws in your report, explaining where and how best to fix, and you agree with him, because he is right! Sometimes our friends or relatives at a meeting hint at excessive completeness or unimportant appearance. At first it annoys us a little, but later, thinking, we realize that they were right.
How to respond to criticism? Psychologist's advice
What not to do in any case:
- say nothing. The person criticizing you will decide that he is right and you agree with his opinion.
- excuse. After all, you're not a little kid to babble back at.
- react aggressively to a remark. Do not act on the principle: "the best defense is attack." Thus, it is possible to lead to an even more difficult situation or even to a conflict.
How to learn to accept criticism?
- at any remark in your address, even though unreasonable and offensive-smile in response and behave with restraint and dignity.
- if you do not agree with the condemnation – calmly and restrained Express your thoughts on this matter. You can say, " I don't agree with you," or "I don't think so." If you are facing a complete stranger, it is better to just go out and leave.
- if you think that the judgments are constructive-thank and take note, very often it stimulates further action.
- sometimes you need to ask for clarification and clarification, to specify the facts to better understand the claims and discontent in your address.
If you always react to comments painfully, if it really happens very often, and you can not, do not know or just do not know how to correctly, calmly and constructively perceive criticism, you need the advice of a good psychologist. This is necessary in order not to drive yourself into depression and not to consider yourself insecure, constantly doubting yourself, a person who does not perceive criticism, who always does everything "wrong".
After all, there are so many people, so many opinions, and it is impossible to describe all the interpersonal situations that occur because of criticism. There are generally accepted principles of behavior in society and educated, and tactful person will always find the words and take all the necessary actions to criticism is not a cause for conflict and quarrels. In a very difficult situation, if you are confused and do not know how to react, psychologists say that the best thing at the same moment to ask yourself the question: "do I need it?"can think about what will happen! In any case, behave with dignity, calmly and be confident!