On the occasion of the World Day Against Violence against Women, besides the usual blows there are also proposals for the construction of more women's shelters.
Women's shelters are these mostly shamelessly located in backyards and overcrowded apartments, where women and children hiding from their beating men (and, if it goes to Friedrich Merz, Horst Seehofer and others, even today rape without rape) men, friends and ex-friends, before they can no longer endure the drama and howling in the women's shelter after two days and return to the great love of their lives, which of course has meanwhile completely purified themselves.
That's not a joke, unfortunately. From my experience as a specialist lawyer for family law, I can report that more than half of the victims of domestic violence, who even dare the step to lawyer, naive and hopeful returns to the perpetrator within a month again.
But now to a thing in which women and men agree: travel forms. Therefore - and I want to mention this expressly, so that no woman calls and hopes for help, possibly even in exchange for nothing more than a lawyer completely unlukrativen advice - I gave up the lawyer profession and retrained to world traveler. And so I present to you something I have seen in Chile, always a haven of progress: A man's house.
And "a house for men who exercise violence against their partner."
What at first glance may seem like a reward for perpetrators of violence is, in my opinion, the better solution. This way, the wife and children can stay in their usual environment. Actually, the principle of "who beats the flies" based on the Austrian model has been enforced in German law since 2002 (§ 2 I Violence Protection Act). The demand for more women's shelters therefore seems a bit in the wrong direction.
At least now, the first comments of men will come in, pointing out that even men are victims of domestic violence. Of course, there are, but less often, and less importantly, as one can see in the number of women killed in partnerships. At this point usually follows the reference to the unreported, to which I can only say: "Guys, if you do not want to have unreported numbers, then just go to the lawyer." That should be done regularly anyway.
Domestic violence is also the mirror of a power gap. An important parameter for how long the victim stays with the perpetrator despite continued violence is (a) the victim's social environment and (b) the disparity of power. If the victim has sufficient personal income and / or friends and family, it can pack their bags much faster or dare faster to the lawyer as the incomeless housewife, who has no circle of friends and no supportive family in the vicinity. The most blatant cases of domestic violence I was dealing with were all similar: sole-earning German husband and foreign-born foreign wife. Here, the woman can not rent her own apartment, her family is far away, and she feels dependent on the man, not to lose the residence permit. § 31 II 1, 2 Hs. 2 Residence Act provides some protection in this respect, but the woman does not know that, if she does not go to the lawyer (which poor in turn do less often than rich). And the man keeps telling her that she has to go back to Thailand if she fools.
That's why I believe that anything that promotes women's economic and social participation is more necessary and helpful than a few more women's shelters.
And a very personal tip. When you meet a potential partner, he / she asks if he / she goes to the library or the gym more often. In case of the latter, I would end the initiation attempts for safety's sake. Also, what do you want to talk about with somebody who does not go to the library regularly?