"Gossip is an unkind or defamatory rumor about someone, spread on the basis of incorrect, inaccurate and fictional information. Transfer gossip and believe them ashamed" - dictionary Ushakov. Psychologists distinguish three types of gossip:
- having no reality;
- distorting the truth;
- real events, hidden from outsiders, but became known.
What kind of rumors would not apply to gossip-it is always very unpleasant and offensive information that hurts a person in the soul. Sometimes it is difficult to transfer not only the negative conversations and gossip about themselves, namely from whom they come. As a rule, it is always close and familiar to us people whom you trust and rely on their decency.
Who are gossips and why do they do it?
You can divide them into several groups:
Insecure people living boring and uninteresting life, often lonely and angry at the whole world. It is the most dangerous type of the person capable to think up extremely unpleasant and discrediting tall tale about the, so-called friend, the colleague on work or the relative. They cause great damage to the psyche of the opponent, which has to be eliminated with the help of psychological advice.
Some members of the human race are very fond of constantly comparing themselves with someone, and with more successful and intelligent than themselves. Hence, in order to underestimate the superiority of the "opponent", come up with various unfavorable and unflattering" stories " about them and with great pleasure share them with others.
A man who gossips from "nothing to do" is thus entertained. He does not even know that it is dishonorable and indecent, absolutely unaware of what they say and to whom. Simply somewhere something heard and decided all to tell. Often enough passing information in an outrageous tone, condemning or, on the contrary, feeling sorry for "helper".
So is it possible to avoid gossip?
The most amazing thing is that we all gossip all the time without realizing it. Just hearing a critical and disapproving statement of someone about someone, immediately with indignation and irritation pass the message to another person. And quite unwittingly, become the same malevolent and slanderers, like the rest. Anyone who speaks negatively about someone automatically becomes a gossip! People do an amazing creature – they themselves suffer from gossip, however, continue to listen to them, and even distributed!
No one likes to be slandered and pitted, but there is a certain type of person – a demonstrative personality. This group of society includes artists, many politicians and people with high self-esteem. Their point of view is that if they gossip about me and spend their energy on me, then it is good for me and causes even more interest in my person. Often, many of them spread implausible news and information about themselves.
Where the gossip about me takes place!
- gossip about friends and girlfriends, to deflect soul, either to share heard news;
- gossip at work, among colleagues to gain the trust and get the right information;
- family gossip or ex-boyfriend gossip. There are several options: because it is customary in your family; to discredit the hated relative for their own benefit; to gain even more trust among relatives.
How to react to gossip about yourself?
To gossip was not interested for others, especially in the women's team, don't deny it, and agree! And it will cease to be a secret.
Never justify yourself or explain yourself, but do not refute, thus showing your weakness and fear. Let them talk, I don't care! Sooner or later, gossips will not be interested in you, they are likely to switch to another person.
Do not show that you are offended, and even more so you are ashamed. Let these feelings are experienced by your detractors!
It is very good to analyze why this happened, maybe you are somewhere or someone made a mistake, hurt yourself or hurt someone.
Wouldn't it be nice to talk to a gossip, find out what all the fuss is about? Maybe a lot will become clear and then you should not even worry and suffer.
How to learn not to gossip!
To somehow cleanse our beautiful world from such a human Vice as gossip, start with yourself! Never discuss anyone without the presence of the person you want to talk about. If you want to say something, say it in your eyes, not behind your back. It is very difficult, but honestly! Learn to control your emotions and feelings, do not waste your own energy on judgments and accusations of anyone. Do not waste your life on petty squabbles and slander. Live in harmony with yourself and, as psychologists advise, change negative thoughts to positive ones!