Love-a strong feeling, all-consuming, diverse in its manifestations. Especially in children who genuinely react to events happening to them. With the advent of a brother or sister older children begin to feel jealous of the younger.
This article will help to understand the causes, ways of expressing child jealousy and to respond correctly to the manifestations of this feeling.
For the birth of the second child ... be prepared
You're about to have a baby. This long-awaited, joyful event changes the usual way of life of the family. If the family already has a child, it feels the changes more acutely than adults: it covers jealousy of the younger. Attention moms now divided into two, and the newborn gets much more. To the eldest child, as before, to feel loved and desired, before delivery to prepare your firstborn to the fact that soon kids mom will have two.
What can be done during pregnancy to cope with childhood jealousy:
Enjoy the whole family soon the appearance of a brother or sister,
In a language accessible to the child, tell him how small and defenseless children are born:
Explain to the firstborn why the newborn needs to be given a lot of attention. Show photos and videos where he was a baby, tell us how he was fed, dressed and bathed:
Let the eldest child learns before birth that a brother or sister will run and play with him only a couple of years. In the meantime, the baby will lie in bed, often cry and can not do anything without mom.
Let the firstborn take care of the baby, and be sure to praise him for it, say how big he is and how you need his help. Emphasize his seniority, but remember that he is still a child who cannot think, feel, and behave like an adult. This is especially true of boys. Girls show jealousy weaker due to the natural inclination to take care of Junior.
Children's jealousy is not a Vice, but the norm
First of all, I want to reassure parents: jealousy of the eldest child is a normal, natural phenomenon.
After all, the love and care of parents are vital to every child's health and development. Therefore, children unconsciously, in accessible ways try to regain the lost attention. Well, if the firstborn openly expresses a sense of jealousy, for example, asks that the mother returned the baby to the hospital or expresses dissatisfaction with his appearance. For example, one four-year-old girl said to her mother: "And it was not necessary to give birth to a brother. Then you should read me a book."
When parents come to family counseling, and it comes to children, it turns out that adults often do not notice the manifestations of child jealousy when driving a second child or, finding signs of it, do not know how to react.
Children may exhibit jealousy towards the younger different ways:
Your firstborn began to behave differently after the birth of the baby: he is capricious or Vice versa, closes in itself, walks sad or shows unusual activity. Attention is a manifestation of sibling rivalry;
Previously, your eldest baby ate Breakfast, lunch and dinner on both cheeks, now pushes the plate even with your favorite food. So the child expresses jealousy and requires Your attention. Give him what he needs.
Requests to feed with food from a bottle or breast milk, to dress or to take on handles: too manifestations of feeling of children's jealousy which the child cannot Express words. If possible, satisfy the needs of a senior. So you will show that he is needed and loved. After receiving the desired, the firstborn will behave according to age.
Colds or diathesis occur "from scratch". It's the cry, " I want mom's attention!"Take the time and energy to practice and play without Junior.
Disobedience, ignoring the requests of parents – a favorite children's way to show adults how necessary their attention. Persuasion, demands to behave well or punishment for misconduct will not help here. Love, patience and care - the only reliable way to weaken the natural manifestations of childhood jealousy.
Children need affection and care of parents at any age. Even adults often suffer from a lack of attention and love. What can we say about children, If you hug your grown child, take him in your arms, stroke his head, mess around and play with him, You will help the firstborn to cope with feelings of jealousy to the younger, then he will grow up healthy and happy.