I would like to start a self-help group, one for mothers or families with three or more children. When I was pregnant with the third child, I often heard that the third party was "just running along". Honestly, no, I do not think so. With two children, I somehow managed to organize my job, relationship and job pretty well. Since the third child is here, everything breaks down regularly with us. That's why a few weeks ago I decided to give a short break. Completely.
I went to Austria for 8 days, handed over my smartphone, magazines, books and my computer to focus only on myself for a week. And, above all, I have completely given up all responsibility once. Everything was taken care of there. I meditated a lot, did not have to talk, but I could listen. If you want to know what I've done, then listen to this podcast.
This one week has brought me so much, and I sat down to think about what to look for as a mother so you do not lose yourself and have enough strength for yourself and your family. There are certainly many more, but I have selected ten that seem to me to be the most important things. Of course, this can change at any time.
10 things that make mom happier
- This is relatively easy to implement, if you only want. Take a little break just for you. I meditate. Once in the morning when all the children are out of the house and once in the evening when all children are in bed. You think you can not do it, but you can do it if you want. You do not necessarily have to meditate, listen to a radio play, read a book, but only for you alone. Use the time in the S-Bahn or in the shower. I heard in a recent podcast that every morning in the shower you should tell yourself how great you are. If you do that for 28 days, it's anchored in the brain and it stays that way. You believe in it. So, daily: "I am a wonderful woman! I am a wonderful woman! I am a wonderful woman! ".
- Eat better. Stop stuffing anything between the door and the hook. Eat healthy. I'm listening now, like the one with the index finger. But I know about myself, I'm an emotional eater, so stress eater. The greater the stress, the more uncontrolled I eat. If I pay attention to it, I realize that if I prefer to eat nothing then anything, I feel better. But that also requires discipline. But worth it. In addition, I can speak from experience and recommend you also dietary supplements. I have just tested Orthomol Vital f and think it's good *. Orthomol Vital f is a dietary supplement that specifically supports your body with micronutrients.With it are vitamin B12, zinc, magnesium, selenium and also omega-3 fatty acids and folic acid. With Orthomol Vital I felt less tired, so I felt less exhausted overall. Of course, this feeling is reinforced when you behave differently. And it also tastes delicious. The taste also reminds me of every single dose of my childhood. I do not know why, but it is very nice! Each time, I stop for a moment and enjoy the brief moment of my past. In addition, you can also create a weekly schedule. Then you also like to get together with the partner or the whole family, think once a week, buy accordingly, and then have less mental load (I'll come to that below) and you just eat more controlled. Small extra tip: In the weekly plan, you can also insert immediately who brings the children when or when.
- Just drive away. I have already described it above. For me, the best solution was to unlock me completely. Because then you are not responsible at all. As well as a weekend with the best friend or all alone. Just get out of everyday life. Then you not only get a different view of yourself and can sleep late. We are also looking forward to his family again.
- But of course you should also get to the bottom of the stress. Patricia from DasNuf has written the best manual for avoiding mental load, I think. But beware: This can also lead to the mega dispute (I speak from experience). It then helps to sensitize both sides. It helped me to actually do work in the household and above all, then no longer to question. For my husband, it was once a total attack but, he has accepted it and now takes care of, for example, completely independently to the grocery shopping.
- Play more! Elina told me yesterday about an article in Emotion magazine in which the author says she realized that playing with Lego is like meditating for them. Since then she plays for relaxation. And as Friedrich Schiller many years ago said: "Man plays only where he is in the full meaning of the word man, and he is only completely human where he plays." So play what it takes, it might even be fun.
- Movement, movement! I'm a bit of a sportsman at times and prefer to stay on the sofa to do sports, but I love my bike. So, I just go everywhere by bike. This is not just sport, it also frees me because I feel freer on the bike. Or if you're still traveling with a stroller, push fast and long. By the way, punching bags are not that bad if you want to get rid of aggression. Also suitable for children.
- Now there are two things that I am very bad at. I've always been the worst date-maker, so for the afternoon with kids. I forget it or I'm always late, then everyone's already dating. Often it is like hanging out with three kids at home and sipping my tea while the kids play. Oh, I could make 6th (s.o.) but sometimes I would like to exchange, with other mothers. If you are like me, at least try to make an appointment from time to time. Sometimes it's good to see that others are alike.
- And now the second point in which I am very bad: get help. I'm so bad at asking others for help. I prefer to fight until I fall over instead of asking someone for help. But it's not hard at all. So, really try to divide the housework and childcare with your partner (if available). If necessary, make plans, appointments, etc. for it. Or, if you have grandparents around, ask them to help you out and do something with the kids. Or hire a babysitter, even if you only want to go to the sport, it's worth it. Or, if you are pregnant and alone, then ask at the health insurance or gyn. There are financial means for this. Whatever is great for everyone, are nights spent by the children with friends. Then you have a break and the kids are happy.
- Go dancing! Unfortunately this is not so easy, because most real clubs are always late! But use birthday parties, carnival celebrations and weddings just to dance. Or maybe there is a club somewhere that opens early? He also likes to close at midnight. You have to be fit again the next morning.
- What helps me sometimes, but it also makes something melancholy ... Remember, the time in which the children are so small, but then faster than you think.
* This article is sponsored by Orthomol Vital f. I have chosen the partner consciously because I think that one should accept help when needed and be it "just" micronutrients that are needed in specific stress situations to support the body. I have known Orthomol for a long time. Years ago, I took Orthomol Immun to provide my immune system with vitamins & Co.