In pre-revolutionary Russia, the upbringing of sons, upon reaching 7 years, was mainly engaged in the father, both in peasant families and in noble families. Growing up in male society, boys became courageous and courageous warriors, defenders and breadwinners. They had clear duties and obligations. The authority of the Pope was absolute. In today's world, much has changed, and the image of the head of the family including.
At the moment, according to statistics, more than half of children live in defective families and mostly with their mother. And this is happening not only in Russia but also in Europe. Often irresponsible dads dump all the worries on the fragile female shoulders. Result? Mothers try to assume paternal functions and to what it leads? Real men are like an endangered species, full of homosexuals and" Mama's boys, " unable to take a step without a mother's consent. Not so want to see the mother of their children, but excessive guardianship, the desire to dolyubit for two, to protect from any danger have consequences, first of all, a negative impact on the future of your child. "How to properly raise a real man alone?"- will discuss in this article.
1. Find a role model
From the first steps the son needs some "reference point", authority, the image on which he will look and be equal. Ideally, the role of the guide belongs to the Pope. If communication with him for some reason impossible to help - relatives and friends: uncle, grandfather, godfather or coach the sports section. In the life of the boy must be present "alpha male". Role models can also be positive characters in movies and books. Go to visit, organize meetings at home, leave your son at the weekend with his parents. The task of others of the opposite sex to teach the boy what his mother will not teach, for example, to fish or ride a bike, and just see how grown men behave.
2. Do not forbid the father to communicate with the child
The problem of many women who make a grave mistake, because of resentment against her ex-husband, to prevent him from communicating with children. The man leaves not from children, and from you - understand. If he is normal and also is the initiator of meetings, you need to dampen your ardor and adequately address the issue of communication with the child's father, not insulting him as a person. Over time, the trauma will heal, you will realize that you did the right thing. Communicating, the baby will be less bored, it is easier to endure a divorce, he will still be a father and mother, and you have a person with whom you can share responsibilities. Another thing-the Pope has no desire, and meetings traumatize the child's psyche. Actions depend on the situation. There will come a time when decisions will not be made by you. Before that, even if the spouse flatly refused to contact with his heir, tell only good things about him, do not invent stories about space, do not speak aloud about him as a "horned pet", tell the truth in a language understandable to the baby.
Children after divorce-a delicate topic, it is important to do so that in the end the boy did not run away from home and did not seek solace in bad companies. Desperate, confused, don't know what to do? That's what psychological help is for.
3. Divide the space
Each person should have a personal space, "its own zone", which is not included without permission, and the growing man is important to" separate " from the female influence, at least geographically. If the living space prevents to allocate a room to the baby, you can use the idea of zoning or separate the children's half of the partition.
4. Organize separate leisure
The son must be taught independence and responsibility for his life and actions. Regarding this "sports section" - what you need. A coach can become not only a teacher, but also a standard of male behavior. In addition, the boy will learn to communicate with others, to defend his point of view, to repel offenders, develop the right male habits and temper the spirit. In his spare time from lessons and circles let the guy play with friends, let them invite home, he needs to be able to be friends with their own kind.
5. Never forget that you are a woman
Despite the fact that you were left alone with a child, without the support of her husband, do not forget that you - a woman, the more to blame yourself for all mortal sins. Do not be afraid to be a weak, loving, affectionate mother, this you will not harm the boy, and show how to show the qualities of a strong man: empathy, support and help. Give your son errands, housework, especially if something needs to be fixed. Since childhood, teach to do men's work, from now on it is your support.
6. Don't blame the child
What happened was the child's least fault. Taking it out on him, telling him, "You're just like your father," raising a hand to him is wrong. Now, when he is small, because of his age, he will be patient and obedient, but when the boy grows up, he will begin to use this weapon against you and others. Aggression, insults, hatred will be the result of your approach to education.
If you are still overwhelmed by negative emotions, try to show the opposite: hug your "blood", instead of insults, say: "you are my best son, how I love you." Undoubtedly, raising children is hard work 24/7, especially when everything is shouldered and there is no one to help.
Just appreciate and love your happiness, teach him to distinguish what is good, what is bad. Spend time with him, listen, praise for the smallest successes, criticize not the child, but the act, respect his friends and personal space, allow yourself to make decisions and make mistakes. Life is the best teacher.