All of us are periodically approached with various requests. It happens that we do not want to meet these requests, but we do not know how to refuse.
So we spend our lives solving other people's problems, although we do not want this at all. In this article you will learn how to refuse in order not to fall for various tricks that can make us still agree.
When you are asked about something, you need, first of all, to listen to your feelings, do we want to satisfy the request? If Yes, then fine, if not, then read on.
First, it is worth noting that you need to refuse in different ways to different categories of people. It's one thing to say no to a stranger, quite another to a loved one. But to refuse the boss at all a fine art.
How to refuse a stranger
Many of us know when we are approached on the street by an alcoholic and asks to help him with money. About why you can not do this, I will write a separate article.
There are also those who do not just ask, but also demand to give them money, they say: "Do you feel sorry for trifles?”.
Here it is important to remember that you owe nothing to a stranger, nothing at all. You do not even have to answer his question (of course, if it is not a representative of the authorities, who acts according to the law). Should answer polite, but direct refusal.
Can you help? - Contact the state services, they will help you.
— You what, little things mind? - Contact the state services, they will help you.
It is important not to get involved in conversations and not to answer questions for which the beggar can cling. To do this, repeat the same phrase. Then any attempt to manipulate you is doomed to failure.
It is worth repeating it even on those questions that are not in the subject. You know why this man asks you, and then you have the right to answer true and not a disguised question. So just repeat the phrase. It'll silence anyone. We're not a charity.
How to refuse a loved one
It happens that our loved ones ask us too much. For example, it happens that children ask for money for a party that we do not want to sponsor.
Here it is necessary to answer directly “ " I do not want” or “no”. You don't have to want to. This answer sounds very categorical and direct, exposing the reality of its most truthful side.
The fact is that “I do not want” is a sufficient reason for refusal. In any case, do not get involved in conversations, why you do not want. You don't want to, period.
To prevent questions and tantrums just repeat the phrase. The repetition of the phrase without modification covers almost any communicative act.
It should be borne in mind that you may well face the offense of your loved one and, as a consequence ,experience a sense of guilt. At this point, you may want to capitulate.
It's important not to. If you can handle it, then in the future people will understand the futility of persuasion and will annoy you much less.
Ultimately, this behavior contributes to a better relationship in the long run, because it clearly indicates the boundaries of what is permitted, and therefore reduces the likelihood of breaking your “boundaries”. This, in turn, helps to reduce the number of conflict situations.
How to refuse the boss
To refuse the chief directly is very dangerous, because you may well be fired. The fact is that the boss is above you in the hierarchy, which means that what he says is not a request, but orders. Here, unfortunately, is to come up with a reason why you can not.
This is often enough for the boss to turn his attention to another subordinate. If not, there is nothing to do but agree.
The exception may be cases when you are a specialist valuable enough to reckon with your opinion. The only point that is worth considering is that your opinion is considered, it must be defended.
When to refuse?
Many had a question: and when it is necessary to refuse? It's simple. Refuse is in cases where a person requires something beyond the agreed rules. The rules are what you should do.
For example, with a stranger you do not agree on anything, and therefore can refuse everything. The child you are obliged to feed, clothe, educate and educate, and therefore, everything that is outside of these areas, can be denied.
With the boss you have agreed terms of work, which means that if he requires more, you can completely refuse. But it is better not to do so, and to justify the reason why you can not. I think everyone understands the danger of confrontation with the boss.
In any case, you can point to the boss on the unspecified terms and ask for compensation.
Important point
Do not take this text as a guide to action. Do not deny all the right and left. It can be nice to help, but it is worth it when we want it, and not because we are forced to it by others.