The word “honesty " has two meanings: truthfulness and decency. Both of these poles are extremely important for the normal functioning of man in society.
Decency is a necessary condition for people to want to do business with you. Who wants to interact with a man who can throw at any time some trick? That's right, no one, because it requires too much money. Though with the dishonest person interaction when people have no alternative is possible. But this is rather an exception to the rule.
I want to touch the other pole of honesty, namely, truthfulness. And I will talk about the benefits of truthfulness for the person himself, not for the people who interact with him. The benefit of truthfulness for others is obvious. It makes you much more predictable and safe.
Here we come to the benefits of honesty for the person. What is the advantage of predictability? The fact is that most of us are not chess grandmasters or politicians to surprise everyone with their unexpected moves. In everyday life, people prefer to interact with clear and safe people.
We all want other people to think we're wonderful people and want to do business with us. So, each of us should make some effort to create a favorable impression. Which means it's better to be predictable. Think about who is in a better position: predictable good cat or unpredictable vicious sewer rat? Obviously, the rat is much heavier. It's the same in the human world.
But before we delve into the subject of truthfulness, let's understand when we lie?
Usually people lie in three cases: when they want to hide some important information, when they want to hide their mistake or lack, and when they want to exaggerate their merits. All three reasons can occur if we believe that we are surrounded by fools who will never guess that they were cheated. It's not. As a result, a person exposes himself as a liar.
And it's hard to be a liar. He has to constantly keep his lies in mind and be in constant tension that he will be discovered. Often he is well aware that his lies will reveal pretty quickly. Can you imagine what it's like to live like that?
But many of us are constantly lying about little things, not understanding what kind of load it makes them carry. Often people because of their lies can not count on help, because they pretend that they are all right. Thus, they lead the situation to such an impasse that no help can save them. And it's all for the sake of distortion, between what a person is and what people think of such a person.
The main force honesty.
When a person recognizes reality as it is and ceases to seem, he finds the ground under his feet. He finds peace and a fulcrum from which to push off and start moving up. As long as the person is lying, it is as if he dangles his legs in the air, trying to seem that he is taller than he is.
Of course, this is not a call for total honesty. For example, it is not necessary to tell other people's secrets or speak truthfully about the things which are seen in society is not accepted. But it is not necessary to lie openly. If you're asked a question you don't want to answer, you should say so. This is also a manifestation of honesty.
A lie, even for salvation, remains a lie. Such lies should not be resorted to, because there are much easier ways to get out of the situation. For example, you may be asked about some information about another person. In response, you don't have to lie, or you can just say that you never discuss other people behind their backs. Or that you don't discuss such things.
The best measure of honesty is one's own feelings. When a person says what he feels according to his beliefs and good manners, he will always be truthful and will avoid most sensitive situations.
Talk about bad people and why they have a bad life. Today I will not talk about the moral side of the issue, and tell you why to be bad-bad and extremely disadvantageous for the person.
Unfortunately, it is now widely believed that success is achieved by unscrupulous bastards who do not think about others. Some even think it's good to be a psychopath. Some romanticism is attributed to this deviation. This opinion is false. First, success is achieved by completely different people. For this reason, being a bastard is a completely optional condition for success. Even, perhaps, this property is harmful.
To understand why, let's first answer one simple question.
Who is the "bad man"?
When I asked you this question, you immediately had an abstract image in your head. Usually, when we call a person bad, we mean unscrupulousness, tendency to deceive, cruelty, unreliability, lack of morality and other negative qualities.
Unites these quality something the General — " violation of rules and norms behavior." And as I wrote in the article "pressure of society", the one who does not honor social norms and rules, falls out of this society. Let's see if this is good or bad.
Society is arranged in such a way that each of its members makes a certain contribution to the common cause, and for this a person receives something from society. But in order to participate in this mutual exchange, one must either honor the rules or take away these benefits.
A bad person uses the second option.
But the problem is that not all goods can be taken away, and people do not like it. Therefore, the maximum that a bad person can count on is money and fear. He will have no love, no respect, no warmth in life and, as a result, no happiness. Very often such people go to prison.
Legal field
Now let's talk about another important point. The fact is that norms, rules, laws ... - this is not a whim, but a necessity. All this protects us. Creates a kind of "legal" field. When we go beyond the legal field, it ceases to protect us.
I will illustrate this by the example of a thief. It is much harder for a thief to ask for help, because then he will have to explain the origin of the stolen goods. So he either accepts the loss or turns to other bandits for justice. Accordingly, in this case. it falls into another "legal field", which is much more stringent and provides much less guarantees. Moreover, to use it, again, it is necessary to give part of the benefits. The question arises, why then change the awl on the soap? Maybe I should have played by the rules and been a lot safer.
It works even when it's not about the law. Take, for example, a man who goes head to head trying to achieve “success.” Let's see if he can count on sympathy and help when he's in trouble. Maybe so, but most likely people won't want to help him, remembering that he is a bastard. And even help him more reliably "drown". A decent person, as a rule, receives support and a chance, people may even be willing to tolerate his “eccentricities”.
Let me give you the last example. Take a man who is rude to everyone. Do you think he will be able to count on a polite attitude in response to his rudeness? No, he's going to get poked around and get in a lot more trouble than he's capable of delivering.
Society is like the sky, all that you throw into it, and then return to your head, only more reliable.
Thus, a bad person is not to be envied. To his hostility to the world, he receives hostility in return. Importantly, that he is beginning to considered this the norm, his life turns into some toxic environment.
Such people should understand that happiness can not be stolen from another, it can only be given and then perhaps you will be gifted in return.