You registered on a Dating site: chose the most beautiful photo, carefully filled out the questionnaire and-Oh, miracle! He wrote you. And now you do not release the smartphone from your hands and look forward to every message. That's just further correspondence on the matter is not. To meet personally the man does not offer, and from your hints and offers diligently freezes.
Why is this happening? Maybe you just couldn't “hook” him or made a lot of mistakes? And I'm not talking about grammar. I have identified 7 basic rules of correspondence with a man. Check if you're complying?
7 rules of correspondence with a man
I guess I won't reveal America to you if I tell you that websites and social networks are just a sandbox for Dating. Online selection of potential candidates for your hand, heart and other organs.
Logically, the events should develop as follows: talked, looked at each other, if everything is OK – met live. If the correspondence lasts for months (sometimes even years) and nothing changes – it's not normal. And I suggest you figure out why this is happening.
1. Purpose of correspondence
My dear, answer (honestly!) to the question: why do I correspond with him? And if your answer is “ " We just talk, chat, and then we will see” - you are at risk of getting a hopeless and protracted relationship. You love to dream, to make up a fairy tale that he will come in a white limousine and take you away into the sunset. And he breaks your glasses and says you're just friends.
Therefore, I believe that any correspondence should have a goal: not just to kill time at the computer, but to bring your communication to a new level. Correspondence for correspondence's sake is about nothing. The purpose of a Dating site is a real meeting.
And if you decide, "Yes, this man suits me”" decide when you want to meet him? Tomorrow, next month or next year? Set some kind of time frame.
2. Don't be in touch 24/7
He writes you " Good morning!"- and just a minute later receives a counter message, littered with emoticons. You know what time he has lunch, who he had coffee with today, and what he cooked for dinner. Sounds cool, right?
And then, my dear, you will complain that your relationship is "stuck" and does not develop. Tell me, why would he ask you out when he already has you 24/7? Why would he bother, buy you flowers, pay for the restaurant, if you can talk on Skype-cheap and angry.
The man has the audacity to call you at 2am, and not always sober – and you answer. He writes to you during the day – you drop everything and rush to the phone. And he relaxed. I thought you could be treated like that. Who wants to win the prey that comes to hand?
So very important:
* Initially identify personal boundaries. You have other things to do than talk to him, don't you?
Let him know that texting is cool, but you want to meet a man in person. Eternal " copyist”, a man-a clerk you not need. Unless you have too much time on your hands. Tell him “ " You are pleasant to me, you are interesting to me, but I want to talk to you live. So, when you are in my city, you will invite me to have a coffee and I will be happy to keep you company.”
* If you see that for some reason he avoids a personal meeting, comes up with a story and an excuse, please do not waste your resource on him. The man is a storyteller can for years to hang you noodles and feed with promises. Why would you?
3. Don't manipulate a man
All those courses on how to be a bitch and put a man on a short leash won't teach you anything good.
My rating of antiSoviet:
* Do not answer messages immediately, let him suffer. Answer me in an hour, or better yet, tomorrow.
* Will call-do not pick up the phone. Don't let him think you're waiting for his call.
* No " cats-bunnies” and other zoo.
Answer dryly, as if your boss is calling and demanding an annual report.
* Emoticons in the message? No way. Only pure text, only hardcore.
You must be proud of yourself, how proud and unapproachable you are. And then you wonder “ " Why did he suddenly stop writing?”
Please understand, if you think like this, if you behave like this, you scare off normal men and attract the same manipulators. Which is also someone playing, warm up your interest. And it turns out that online is a nice guy who quotes Yesenin and sends you postcards with roses, and in real life – a lazy seal or abuser.
So be yourself. Still, a personal meeting will put everything in its place. And the man will see that under the mask of a bitch hides a gray mouse. If you want to be better-pump yourself: self-confidence, self-esteem, femininity, understanding of the psychology of relationships. When your level of personal leveling will be high, you will not need someone to pretend to be.
4. Use emoticons
"Oh, who needs these flowers and hearts?"- thinking you and send a man a bleak sheet text. My dear, in your phone a few hundred emoticons. You think they're just there for show?
Tell me, how are your texts any different than his mom's or his boss's? Use emoticons, through them you can Express your emotions, it's very cute and feminine.
5. Can be write the first
Yes, the crown of your head will not fall off, keep calm and you're not going to cease to be in his eyes an attractive woman. But there is a reverse nuance: just look at your correspondence. If in 70% of cases you write first-it is worth considering whether you are exactly interesting to a man?
You know, honey, I'm all for reciprocity. You wanted to wish him a good day – do it. Do not wait until his busy schedule will “window” and he will write to you first. But if you are always the initiator of the conversation, and the man just answers, you should reconsider your views on this communication. Maybe you're wasting your time.
6. Do not write with a claim
"Why didn't you write?", "Where gone? I was waiting for you yesterday” – even in writing these phrases, you can make the brain male. You know what he thinks when he sees a message like that? "Wow, we haven't even met yet, and she's already trying to control me.”
Just text him “Glad you're online again,” “I missed you” "" How are you?"that's assuming you really want to keep in touch. If a man disappeared for a long time, and then appeared and as if nothing had happened to you writes, voice your thoughts: "thank You for writing to me, but I have other plans now. Our ways, but I believe that you all will be cool!” There is no need to make claims, to scold him like a boy.
7. Photos and videos
Imagine that you write "Good morning" – and send a selfie, how beautiful you smile. Or you are at work, you do not have a single free minute, but you send a man a short video “I Wish you a good and productive day!"Nothing supernatural, but the man's interest in you increases several times.
Do you use that technique? I just often hear from girls: "Yaroslav, I met a man on a Dating site, and he asks for a photo.” And they say this indignantly, with a claim, as if the guy demands to rewrite the apartment or sell a kidney to give him the last IPhone!
It is clear that the photo in the style of "Nude" he does not need to send, you do not want to become a victim of blackmail? But the selfie, short vidosic or favorite pictures to send you even need!