When we are strongly hindered by something, and we can not remove this obstacle, we begin to grow irritation. Irritation accumulates and develops into anger. We want to remove the obstacle from our path, and then we have a desire to solve the problem in a radical way-to hit! Or for lack of opportunities to punch, yell and insult.
An excellent illustration of this feeling is the beating of various non-working equipment. Printer not working? Of course, the best way to make it work is to crack the squirt. Or the computer froze. You guessed it, of course you have to hit the edge of the monitor. Oh, this malicious computer! He definitely deserved it. You can also call it all sorts of offensive words for the computer. And you can do it mate.
Does any Manager or bureaucrat refuse your request? How dare he? This bug decided to refuse you!? Kill her! Shake the hell out of him, let him know who he's messing with! You have to raise your voice at him, he seems deaf, if he does not understand what you WANT.
The goods bought in shop were faulty? Of course, the seller is to blame for everything. He knew for sure that the goods were damaged. We have to go into the store and blame everyone! Yell at someone for sure to get the money back.
Sounds funny? You think I'm exaggerating? And here and there. Millions of people do it every day. And today I dedicate this article to the topic of anger management.
Where does anger come from?
People's reactions are not always logical. The fact is that when emotions come into play, we do not use logic, but include ancient and primitive programs of behavior. Anger is one of these behaviors. In fact, anger is an algorithm for solving a problem by force.
Met prehistoric man in the forest enemies, not was able with them to agree, and then he decides on them attack in a fit of rage. Anger is a way to break down an obstacle with some short-term superpower.
Is anger adequate to modern conditions?
Maybe it's still useful somewhere. Maybe in some extreme conditions. But in peacetime it has no positive application. Why? First of all, because the solution of the problem by conflict is usually much more expensive than by peaceful means.
Imagine a situation. You're not happy with some utility bill. You wanted to defend their rights, and the management organization does not want to go to meet you, because they have some internal rules. Anger in such a situation dictates us to break on the employee of the management organization, although he is absolutely not to blame, he just performs the job description. Agree that it is pointless to show anger towards him, because he decides nothing.
It also makes no sense to be angry at the computer, because the computer does not make any decisions. The reason for the fault, which can not be eliminated by force.
In ordinary life force can be resolve very a negligible number of situations. In fact, these situations amount to a real threat to life. Anger then gives us the strength to defend ourselves. But that, too, is too doubtful; it is much easier to escape.
How to get rid of anger?
Anger is an emotion. You can't get rid of emotion with any tricks. But something can still be done. It is important to remember that when you are angry, you are not likely to solve a difficult situation, but to make it worse. Therefore, the only real way not to commit stupidity is to exclude yourself from a difficult situation for a while.
Tortured bureaucrats in the passport office? Don't get mad and yell at them, better come back another time.
Computer not working? Go for a walk for twenty minutes.
Don't let yourself do anything stupid in a fit of anger. Remember, what begins in anger ends in shame. Problems are best solved on a cold head.
The main thing you should know about the black band - it happens at all. Perhaps there is no such person on earth who can say: "but I'm all right. I'm always exceptionally lucky!”. Even the luckiest people, from our point of view, have bad luck.
What is the reason for the "black band" in life?
Often we delay the solution of problems for some distant future. It's like not treating a bad tooth. We endure until an abscess happens. Then we have to solve the problem, experiencing difficulties, we solve it long and expensive.
But okay would this was an isolated case. People tend to postpone the solution of many problems. The procrastination becomes systemic. So is it any wonder that the problems appear systematically?
Nor should the influence of chance be excluded. Yes, problems can appear just like that and accumulate in groups, too, just like that, not obeying other factors. Try to throw a coin a hundred times and look at the results. You will notice that at times the same side may fall ten times. So trouble can appear completely randomly.
It is important to understand that trouble-it's not bad luck and not someone's evil will, but simply the result of chance.
What to do with the black stripe?
The only thing we can do is to exclude the influence of our own wrong behavior. To this end, emerging issues and problems should always be addressed in a timely manner.
Of course, this will not protect you completely from failures, but will help to reduce their number.
Murphy's law says “ " What can happen will happen." This, of course, is not about some law of meanness, but simply about mathematical probability. Why is that? The fact is that most of our lives are made up of repetitive events: we go to work regularly, eat regularly, sleep regularly, cross the street regularly.
If we do something wrong, it is only a matter of time before we fail. For example, a driver who runs a red light, sooner or later will get into an accident, because it greatly increases the likelihood. A person who follows the rules and behaves reasonably on the road has a very low probability of an accident. But still, he has it.
Where thin, there and is torn. Therefore, the best way to protect yourself from the black band — be attentive to your life and solve all problems in a timely manner. And, of course, it is worth remembering that although we can reduce the likelihood of problems, but we can not avoid them at all. But we can prepare for them.
Sooner or later, the harvest years end and crop failures begin. To survive a difficult time, you should have stocks. This is quite obvious, but, for some reason, modern people forget about it, preferring to live in the present.
If the black streak has already begun, the best strategy is to methodically solve emerging issues. Imagine yourself as a crisis Manager, who was invited to solve the accumulated problems.
Car broke down? Find the money and fix it. Toothache? Urgently treat. Problems at work? So, it is necessary to become more active and collected. We solve problems one by one and stop feeling sorry for ourselves. In such moments should live with understanding — ”Problems-this rate."