Sometimes we worry too much about certain aspects of our lives. We're so worried, we think we should be in control. Sometimes this control comes to a manic state. And then we start to think that if we let go of that control, everything will collapse.
It's possible. But not because we cannot do without total control, but because we build relations with the world on control. For example, the boss can not trust his subordinates, which is why he begins to demand coordination of each step. It requires very specific tasks. Gradually, the working team adapts to this style of management. If in such situation sharply strip organization control, then indeed all can collapse. After all, accustomed that the chief poking his nose in and giving your “valuable” instructions. If the chief sharply stops to do it, work can freeze, after all people will still expect punishment for unauthorized steps.
Naturally, without control, too, can not do, but it is very important to limit it to certain limits. To do this, you need to learn to trust people. It is much easier to exclude people who have not lived up to trust than to deprive everyone of their trust. It requires much less energy.
Jealousy also stems from excessive control. On the one hand, it is fueled by distrust of the partner (which is an alarming symptom), and on the other hand — fear.
How to get rid of excessive control?
As we have seen, excessive control stems from a lack of trust. Distrust breeds fear. It is necessary to find out why the trust was lost, and how to return it. This method can help if there is a desire to dig into the source of the problems.
If there is no such desire, it is worth remembering one fact about our world, which you may have forgotten. Not everything in this world depends on us. And if a part of our lives requires our constant attention, without which everything will collapse, maybe we should not cling to it?
Sometimes you just have to let go. Relax. Let him go as he goes.
To become ready to let go, try a mental exercise. Imagine what could happen the worst if you let go of the reins? What will you do if the worst happens? Is it possible that you let go of the situation, but will be able to fix it in time if something goes wrong? Think about what you will do in this case.
This exercise is very strong. First of all, things that are not so important to us leave the area of our attention. Important things cease to cause fear, because we have made a plan, what we do, if anything.
No one can carry the world on their shoulders. Even if a person does it, then the people around are corrupted. They cease to feel responsible for what is happening, because everything happens without their participation.
Let me give you an analogy. Imagine that you have to drag the Cabinet. The owner of the Cabinet tries to drag it himself, because the Cabinet is “very valuable". When he is offered help, he refuses, because " they just drop." He points out exactly how to drag Gradually people will stop offering help. And the owner of the Cabinet will only complain that no one can rely on.
In the end, it is worth remembering that the case in our lives depends no less than on us. Control will not save us from the inevitable. The inevitable cannot be avoided.
Responsibility is the basis of success. Life gives people many opportunities, but many of them ruthlessly miss. This is repeated from year to year. People come up with some reasons why they did not take advantage of the chance, and at the same time continue to complain about their fate. Continue to be indignant why one has everything, and they have nothing.
Came up with a good example. Imagine fishing. When the first bite, the man said that he was not ready to pull the fish, you first need to eat. When the second bite came, he didn't do anything either, but excused himself by saying that he wanted to go into the bushes. The third time he did not notice the bite in time, because he was dozing. There were a few other good points he missed. And then the biting passed. So and not caught he nothing, and wife said, that fishing was unfortunate.
And in life: because of his carelessness, laziness and irresponsibility we are missing the chic options in our lives. But we believe that we are not to blame.
All this is because people do not have the most important skill — to be responsible. To be responsible for our lives, to be responsible for the things we do, to be responsible for the loved ones we love, to be responsible for the property we own. Be careful.
If we want certain aspects of our lives to be in order, we have to pay attention to them. It is impossible to have a good job if you do not devote enough time to achieving the working result. It is difficult to have a good strong family, if you do not give the family mental strength. It's rare to have a strong and agile body if you don't watch it.
And then people wonder why they have a bad job (let them say thank you for it), why they have stupid children and a thick, flabby body. How much did people do to make things right? Maybe more fun?
How to develop responsibility?
Stop procrastinating. Start simple. Did you see the faucet break? Immediately proceed to repair. Need to shop? Go now. Given an assignment for work or homework for school? Do not delay. Try to stop procrastinating altogether.
You need to strive to live two months without such postponements. I wonder how long it will take you before you can hold out for even three days?
The next task is not to miss the opportunity. That doesn't mean you have to throw yourself at everything. But you must consider every possibility in detail and explain to yourself in detail why you are not considering it. Try to hold out for the same two months. The only good reason to miss an opportunity is if it doesn't fit your purpose. By the way, do you have a goal?
What will give responsibility?
By itself, it will give little, except that life will be much more order and meaning. But responsibility is a basic skill, without which you can not achieve any serious and long-term success.
After that, the prospects will open. For example, people will begin to pay attention to you, will offer you to participate in various activities and interesting, and most importantly, profitable projects. You will begin to perceive life differently, you will begin to notice things in people that you have not seen before. In the end, you will surpass quite a large percentage of people. They will cease to be your competitors at our celebration of life.