Difficulties in communication arise in many people for very different reasons, which can be combined into 4 large groups: misunderstanding, fears, disgust and the problem of interest. In this article we will consider them in detail.
Misunderstandings and communication difficulties
Misunderstandings are the largest group of problems that cause communication difficulties. When people do not understand, they simply can not establish contact, which is why they begin to fail the algorithms by which people build a conversation. In order to continue communication in such a situation requires too much effort and if a person does not have a strong enough motivation to continue contact, it is easier to interrupt it.
Misunderstanding of communication model
We all know that in different situations you need to communicate differently. We communicate with the boss in one way, with subordinates in another way, with relatives in a third way, and so on.
It's like a key. Sometimes people confuse these “keys” and begin to communicate with loved ones, as with subordinates, boss, with friends, with subordinates is also wrong.
This can manifest itself in high expectations from people. When a person begins to demand what he is in his position to demand has no right.
Or, on the contrary, instead of rigid and formal relations begins to behave familiarly or begins to share personal with those with whom it is not supposed.
In such a situation, people instantly catch the discrepancy. At first they look at the man in bewilderment(is he ill?) and then write him down as a fool, sometimes forever.
Misunderstanding of formal and informal rules
In every collective, in every social stratum, there are many rules. Some are written down and brought to everyone without fail, and some rules are unspoken. Not welcome, when someone violates any rules, even if they nowhere not codified.
In case of violation of the rules, other people begin to feel some hostility. Why is this happening? The fact is that the rules are one of the factors that determine who is your own and who is someone else's.
If a person violates some important norm, then other people immediately understand “ "He is not of our circle”, “Savage”, “Random person”, "some Strange" and so on.
The rules should be treated very carefully.
Misunderstanding of nonverbal signs and hints
It is normal that different people like to communicate on different topics. Accordingly, the topic of conversation can cause someone a negative reaction. Usually, however, decided to openly tell the person that the topic is inappropriate. In this case, people usually begin to hint that it's time to talk about something else.
Unfortunately, many people are so self-absorbed that they do not notice these signs. In this case, the communication is interrupted. Well if only in this time, and sometimes human forever record in fools and further communication becomes impossible.
Therefore, you should always focus on the interlocutor, and not on yourself.
Lack of understanding of emotions
Quite often it happens that the same topic, causes people different emotions. This is normal. Normally, a person instantly reads other people's emotions, but for various reasons this may not happen.
In this case, a real catastrophe can happen. For example, once watched a picture of how one girl told the other a joke about the maternity ward, filled with black humor. However, she did not know that another woman had recently experienced a similar tragedy. Everyone around her was urging her to stop, but she didn't notice any hints or emotions from the other woman. She laughed out loud at the end. Need I say that they had no more communication?
Understanding of the language
Everyone understands that communication between people speaking different languages is difficult. However, problems with different understanding of words can arise within the same language.
Usually, this reason does not interrupt communication, but it is quite difficult. When a person does not understand something, usually he does not want to strain especially about it and he just prefers to talk to someone else.
Therefore, if someone is not interested in communicating with us, you should check whether the terminology that we use in conversation with this person is clear. It is possible that he simply does not understand us.
One should always speak to a person in a language he understands.
Lack of understanding of the values
Different people have different values and experiences. Some people can joke about things that make other people sick. At one time, when I studied at the University I was struck by this medical students. They liked to share something about their specialty, like the specifics of being a pathologist.
If a person has a specific experience, it is not always necessary to share it. Many people may simply not appreciate the awareness of some issue, and find the person dangerous, rude, cynical or can be boring.
Lack of understanding of their place in society
There is a hierarchy in human society. This is a given that many ignore, but in vain. If a person does not understand his place in society, he can talk to other people in an inappropriate way.
In particular, it can make the mistakes that we have discussed above. Like being disrespectful without even knowing it.
Fear of communication
The second group of reasons due to which there are difficulties in communication, are the reasons associated with fear. These are internal reasons that are associated with lack of awareness and negative experience, or lack of experience.
Fear of presentation
One of the main fears is the fear of presentation. What is it? It is the fear of expressing your thoughts, emotions and feelings. It arises because a person does not know how the other person will react.
If due to misunderstanding communication is interrupted by one of the parties, then in case of fear it may not even begin.
On the one hand, people tend to avoid misunderstanding, and on the other hand, for this reason, he can not get the experience and information that can provide this understanding. It turns out a vicious circle.
How to break this circle? Obviously, misunderstanding is less of a problem than fear, because it involves at least some communication. Fear is almost guaranteed to put an end to it. This means that it is much better to risk than not to try at all. In this case, there is at least a chance of success. In addition, we are almost guaranteed to get experience and information.
Unfortunately, it is quite difficult to cope with fear on your own, but you can always turn to specialists.
Fear of rejection
The fear of rejection, like other fears, arises from a lack of positive experience. It can be either lack of experience, or negative experience when the person was shown, but with it didn't want to communicate.
This fear can be overcome by getting a positive experience in some safe environment, where a person will not be rejected, even if he somehow fails to show himself. For example, this can be done at the reception of a psychologist.
Fear of ridicule
The fear of ridicule is a special case of the fear of rejection. However, this fear is stronger and is often associated with a real negative experience.
This fear can also be dealt with through positive experiences. However, in this case it is necessary to analyze in detail the circumstances in which this experience was obtained.
Aversion and difficulties in communication
A person can be remarkably able to communicate and find understanding with others, without having any fears. However, the problem may be that other people reject it still “on approach". Let's analyze the main reasons.
Aversion from the appearance
Meet on clothes. People can be repelled by many things, but the greatest prejudice is experienced by people who do not follow their hygiene. Unwashed hair, dirty clothes, bad smell-that's guaranteed to scare everyone around.
Disgust from the reputation
People may not want to communicate because of the fact that they have some discrediting information about a person. This may be some facts from the biography of a person, his way of life or rash statements.
Problem of interest
Communication is a complex thing in which everything should be in moderation. Perhaps the main ingredient of communication is interest. Like salt, it should be in moderation.
Excessive interest
When a person feels too interested in communicating with him, it is frightening. Why is he so eager to communicate? Suddenly wants to cheat? What if he's a crook? And indeed some annoying. Come on! Such thoughts come to mind to the person with whom they really want to communicate.
Lack of interest
The lack of interest of the communication's bland and boring. Interest is the reason for communication. If it exists, any other negative trends can be overcome. If he's not there, nothing else matters.