Lying for no reason is one of the most destructive and disadvantageous habits a person can have. Senseless lies often spoil a person's reputation, although he did not get any benefits from it.
My husband's coming home from work, I decided to go to one store, but my wife for some reason, said that in the other. Or wife went to girlfriends, and husband told, that to a beautician. Or a child all day sitting at a friend's house, and mom said he was hanging out with another friend. At the same time, if they told the truth, nothing terrible would happen.
However, now there is a risk for them to be caught in a lie. And now the husband who wasn't in “correct” shop, raises suspicions that was at the mistress. A wife who has not been to a beautician may also be suspected of having an affair. And the child will be suspected of something.
What is a lie anyway?
Lies are misrepresentations. Usually, it is necessary that other people began to act in a way that is beneficial to us, or to hide our actions that are disadvantageous to others.
It is a kind of instrument of influence. But any tools we use have their limitations and drawbacks. Naturally, the " lie " has its limitations. What are they?
If you look closely, the whole life of man is subject to inexorable rules. All effects have causes. Actually, thousands of years ago, when people noticed these rules, they generalized them and created the science of “logic”, which describes how cause and effect interact.
Well. Every time a person lies, he breaks these rules, substituting either cause or effect. If you think that it goes unnoticed, you are deeply mistaken. The brain of any person automatically notices such inconsistencies. Of course, a person is not always aware of this at the level of the mind, but at the level of the senses it is fixed, as a barely noticeable breeze “Something does not fit”.
When a person lies rarely, people almost do not notice it, however, when a person lies too often, people begin to feel that somehow the person behaves incorrectly. Even if they do not understand the essence of what is happening, they certainly record that a person causes negative emotions.
Where does a lie without a reason come from
Any of our regular actions over time become automatism. This is an evolutionary acquisition, a mechanism that allows you to save intellectual resources. Automatisms are like programs in a computer that rigidly define a sequence of actions. However, programs do not think about the meaning of what they do. They just do.
How does that apply to lying? Suppose that certain conditions make a person lie. In this case, the lie of the exclusive means, turns into a routine and, accordingly, regardless of the desire of the person goes into the category of automatism.
What is the content of this automatism? This rule “If I have something to ask, then you need to distort the real situation”. This rule begins to be applied unconditionally, bypassing human consciousness. Although then, in retrospect, a person always comes up with an explanation for why he did so.
As a result, a person begins to lie at every step, about and without. Thus, the image of a person in the eyes of others begins to lose logical coherence. I repeat that people may not understand this on the level of reason, but their feelings will tell them that the person is some unpleasantly strange.
Lying for no reason and reputation
What is reputation? Reputation is the predictability of behavior. For example, if a child learns to deuces, his reputation “predictably gets deuces”, if a man is a wimp, then his reputation “predictably yields to pressure” and so on. These are examples of bad reputation. A good reputation has the same essence.
Now, liars have a certain reputation, which can be expressed as”Predictably untrustworthy." What does that mean?" This means that a person loses the opportunity to use the “word”in relation to a number of people. After all, his "word" has no power.
This greatly complicates a person's life, because now he has no opportunity to save a lot of energy to prove his intentions to others. For example, a husband who has no faith will be forced to quarrel on the smallest occasions, although he could simply say " I was there”" Now he'll have to prove it.
In addition, a reputation as a liar closes for good a lot of opportunities. Many people will not even try to interact with such a person, because they do not want to spend extra energy on checking and control.
Okay, if the person really deserved this purposeful lie, but is such that the person deserved it a lie without a cause, from which no benefits received.
How do you stop lying for no reason?
Everybody lies. It's a fact to be accepted. However, it should be an extraordinary remedy that is in the interest not only of the liar but also of the one being lied to. Some truth only causes problems. A lot of people's mistakes are better buried than exposed. It's better for everyone.
But lies are not automatic. She's nothing but trouble and no use. So how to get rid of it? Quite simple. You just need to realize that in most cases, if we tell the truth, nothing terrible will happen. If the truth can cause only minor damage, it is better to say it, because lies carry incomparable risks.