Today I want to tell you about love. Love not to man, and to goal. I want to tell you about your favorite business and how you will feel when you find it. And you'll find it if you look.
Favorite thing is when you Wake up and think that finally you can get to work. When you don't have to force yourself to start, you have to force yourself to stop.
It seems like a fairy tale, but this fairy tale is real. Everyone saw such people, but many did not understand anything. They succeed not because they aspire to it, but because they love what they do.
They don't do 5 percent, 30 percent, 70 percent, or even 100 percent of the work. They do 150 percent or more of the work. Invest soul, do better than others, better than themselves. Better, better, better! They respect what they do.
How do they love what they do?
It's simple. They realized that there was no decent alternative to work. That labor is not a burden, but something that elevates us. Something that brings real happiness. Labor is not something that can be accumulated. They realized that man is not flesh, not history, not past merit, and man is what he does and gives. How many people invested in the cause, as he put it in himself.
To love your work is to serve the world or God, if you believe in him. If your work serves people, if it brings good, if you do it well, people feel it and reward you with recognition and gratitude. It happens that not immediately, but always you begin to receive returns.
But they do it not for the sake of bestowal, but for the sake of service. Their goal is not to take, their goal is to give. That is their strength. You know them: they are great scientists, Industrialists, businessmen, musicians, artists, great engineers, masters... you look at their work and feel that it is greatness. The greatness that is measured by the beauty of what is done.
How to become one of them?
One should understand that there is no other way to happiness than to serve something. Stop trying to grab your piece, offer something to the world. Just like that, not for profit. Only after a person ceases to behave like a parasite, the world goes to meet him.
If you change your mindset, you will never have to force yourself to do anything. The more you give, the more you want to give and the better you get. You become the source from which this world receives energy. Only so.
Persuasive reasoning is what I call one very common method of influencing people's behavior.
How to change human behavior? The first thing that comes to mind is to try to call a person to reason. Unfortunately, this approach rarely works. The fact is that for most people decisions are made not on the basis of reason, but on the basis of emotions. Reason only explains our decisions post factum. In order to change our emotions, it is necessary to impress our imagination. For the same, to strike our imagination, it is necessary to make a convincing presentation.
Let me show you an example. Imagine a certain person who has problems in his personal life because of his inability to communicate with people. However, often such a person explains his failures for other reasons. For example(if it is a woman), that she has excessive shyness, that she wears the crown of celibacy and so on.
If you try to work” head-on " with the skills that a person needs to acquire, it is likely that a person will not do anything, because it is too simple and not interesting. The key word here is " interesting." We need to wrap our job in a beautiful wrapper. This is the basis of all successful psychotherapy.
Psychologist can be absolutely any direction. If he understands this mechanism, that his psychotherapeutic techniques are just a wrapper, and the main thing is to what actions we encourage the client, then such a psychologist will be successful as a specialist. If he doesn't, his therapy will be no more effective than chance.
Almost all areas of psychotherapy have such a mechanism of action, except cognitive-behavioral, which openly focuses on the development of new skills in a person and the identification of his limiting beliefs. Other therapies work through the vivid experiences they carry. These experiences mobilize the person, forcing him to change his beliefs and encouraging action.
A compelling rationale in psychotherapy
Many psychologists of other schools will disagree with me, but this model perfectly explains why therapists of the same school have different effectiveness. The thing is that one therapist unconsciously comes to a successful technique of therapy, and the other does not. What is the difference? In one small nuance: is there an incentive to act in therapy?
Let's take a classic example. There is a theory that all the problems a person from childhood. What you need to remember the traumatic experience and everything is back to normal. In fact, nothing is normalized by itself. This awareness (though false) can simply create motivation. However, if the therapist does not get the patient to act, this motivation will be wasted.
How should a psychologist seek action? Simple question. “What do you intend to do next?"Man you anything replies. If you really want to help him, then you ask him the question “will this "action" help with the problem with which you came to me?”. Thus, by formulating questions, we form a human program of action, which he must implement.
Due to the fact that the person himself made this program(you did not tell him anything directly), it is much more likely that he will perform this program. In addition, this program will be implemented in the wording of the client, and therefore will take into account its capabilities and resources.
If we found out that there was a Psychotrauma and on it finished therapy, such therapy will lead to nothing. It's like throwing a kid in the water and saying “swim” without teaching him how to swim. If he does, the therapist is proud to say he taught him. If not, he will say that therapy is powerless with this client.
Is it worth doing this?
I think not. The psychologist should be as open to the client. He must not manipulate the client. The more he must believe in those pseudo-scientific directions which are now quite common, like NLP and many other pseudoscientific areas.
If the psychologist can not achieve positive dynamics in 10 sessions, then his therapy is ineffective and only creates the client's "illusion of movement". The task of the psychologist is to form the client's adaptive skills, as well as to identify and change limiting and contradictory beliefs. Cognitive behavioral therapy is the best way to deal with this.