Love. How much has been said about it and how little people know about it. There are many vague and contradictory reflections on this subject. So much, that becomes absolutely nothing not understandable. This is because people tend to lump together completely different phenomena. Love-the notion of an abstract and can be to accept for it, that anywhere. That's where people get burned most of the time. To prevent this from happening, I will try to put everything on the shelves.
Before reading further, ask yourself the question: "what is love?”. Rather, only the majority will imagine something blurry-pleasant. Like " wanting the best for a person,” “respecting,” and everything that a person knows is good in an interpersonal relationship. Someone will think about the hormonal storm they have experienced in the past or are experiencing now. Someone about the admiration of the crowd. Someone about a relationship with God. In short, under love understand literally everything.
No wonder many people find it hard to understand what it is. So we take for this feeling anything.
How do people know about love?
Teenagers like to think about love. A teenager knows that there is love for his mother, but "true love" is something else, something supernatural. Thus, a certain expectation is formed in a teenager-the expectation of an unusual and strong emotion.
Suddenly, there is an age-related hormonal shift. In wild quantities in blood various substances begin to be thrown out, forcing the teenager to feel hitherto unprecedented emotions, for example, erotic attraction to the opposite sex. The young man tries to somehow explain what is happening, to give some name to his new state. And when a person finds someone of the opposite sex, to whom it would be nice to show an erotic interest, the person calls it love.
Next comes even more interesting. About love after all, rumor has it that this is not just erotic desire, but also something more... But what more? What good do we know?
From childhood one knows that when a good relationship — you have to walk. What else? My mother fed me and said she loved me. So it is necessary to feed and entertain... in a Word, the man begins to add on to this feeling all the good that he knows about interpersonal communication.
If a person has a lot of positive experience, he encodes the word "Love" a lot of positive. If there was little positive, and love turns smaller. Therefore, people understand absolutely different things by love. That's where the problems begin.
Love problems
Meet a boy with girl. They begin to communicate against the background of a hormonal storm. Like and speak, as before, but one senses, that there is a new strange motive communication. Erotic interest is a drug so strong that a person ignores other spheres of life. Hormones do absolutely everything to make a boy and a girl get to know each other better. But after all them not explained, that is happening and then they think “ " Perhaps this and there is love! Really powerful feeling!”.
Then they grow up, get married, have children . But suddenly it turns out that everyone calls love different things. The girl understands this “touchy-feely”, to heal, to feed and carry around with you, because she showed love to the dolls in childhood. Boys interesting few more. If a boy from cultural family and many read, then he is beginning to try on stamps from books. Begins to build a noble knight and indulge in all capricious Princess.
This I cited as an example. Of course, this is not how it happens. In fact, everything will depend on the individual's experience.
Gradually people are beginning to get used to each other. Sometimes erotic feeling goes away and remains only the form of the “combined rites” and then the relationship flying off the rails because there are no more that this form was kept. Sometimes erotic feeling can be saved for a long time and then the relationship continues to grow with new connections.
Then, to the initial “core” can be added other "unifying principles": children, joint property, common cause, and habit in the end! But is it the same feeling as it was in the beginning? Relations remain, but begin to resemble more and more related, when just each other wish good. But there is no hormonal storm…
When there are no unifying principles left, problems begin. If the attraction is gone, there are no children, property is not amassed, only the habit remains. If the couple built a peaceful relationship without scandals and swearing, the habit is not a burden. If they swore before, then when the unifying principle is gone, then there is no point in enduring.
For a while, people continue to try to satisfy their cravings with the crumbs that remain from the relationship, but in the end there is the death of love. Further all depends on, in what position spouse are. If someone has the opportunity to find a new relationship, the marriage breaks up. If not, they continue to live like strangers.
But it shouldn't be like this!
What is true love?
I have described above how love is built on a spontaneous Foundation, on an erotic feeling. Is it love? I think not, more like lust. If people knew what was happening to them, they wouldn't build their lives on such shaky foundations.
What's wrong? The mistake is that if love is built on physical attraction, it is not a strong love. Our bodies age, deteriorate, and most importantly they do not get better!
It is another matter if love is based on spiritual attraction. When people simply well together, when they understand and accept each-friend. If you love the person for mind and soul, then love has a greater chance (assuming that person is trying to rise above itself). You see the difference? Mental qualities, though with difficulty, can get better, but the body does not.
If people and bodies coincided, then there appears the strongest Union, which, perhaps, can be called true love. That's why such love is rare. Too many factors should coincide: both people work on themselves, appreciate each other for this, attract each other physically, have many other points of contact.
It seems that such love is a coincidence. In fact, it is the result of a long creative work.