Victim psychology — what is it?
Victim psychology is a psychological attitude that is characterized by a passive attitude to events in a person's life.
A person with this attitude does not control his own life, does not take responsibility for what is happening to him, in his picture of the world there is not even the possibility of an active life position. Accordingly, such a person lacks the skills to defend their interests (they are not formulated). Lack of skills to plan and implement their own future.
What can be the benefits and advantages of which says the author of the letter?
There are two sides to everything. Sometimes, even in cons can be find pros, if very try. For example, do not take responsibility, choose, do not think about your future, worry. For him already thought. Why fight? It's always easier to go with the flow. Even if the current is in the sewer drain.
Dubious pros, however, man was accustomed, that for him all solve other people or circumstances. It's easy to say” change, " but how do you do it in practice?
Why does a person not want to stop being a victim?
Imagine a person who has never walked. It's just that when he was a kid, they wouldn't let him do it. And here is some are a good man looks at this poor fellow and says: "Get up and walk! You've got legs, you've got nerves. You can go! Why you lying?”. Because the man can't walk! Children learn this for several years. Yes, and people do not believe that it was only the skills and desire, he thinks he's just born that way “Nemesis to go.”
So the man with the psychology of the victim is a disabled person, who in childhood were not allowed to choose and to determine their actions. Well, he can not just “stop being a victim”, because it is necessary to study long. He had no experience when he defined his life, achieved his goals, fought. He thinks he's just born”weak-willed."
How to make a person want to change his life?
The first thing to do is to help him believe that it is possible. To do this, you need to raise his self-esteem. After all, why does not a person try?
The man repeated these suggestion many thousands of times, they also found confirmation for their failures, perhaps he was told it by other people. Such autosuggestion and suggestion act as” mental walls " that block behavior that does not fit into these formulas.
How are negative beliefs formed?
Negative beliefs are formed through traumatic experiences.
For example, consider the scheme of formation of the belief " I'm a loser(CA)”
Man failed to achieve some goal
Man asks himself the question " why?”.
Of all the options(the adverse circumstances, didn't try hard enough, chose the wrong course of action, etc.) the person chooses the reason “I Guess the reason is that I just can't do it.”
"I'm a loser."
Now on all happening with him he will look through this prism of and find all new reassert the this. If something this person will turn out, he will not notice it. If they are failures, the person will remember them and once again make sure that he is a loser. In the end, this belief becomes so strong that the person does not even try to do something himself.
Beliefs can be formed by other people. For example, if someone authoritative will tell “You the loser”, the person can agree with it inside and further the vital way will continue with this belief.
How to help a person to raise their self-esteem and believe in yourself?
To do this, you need to notice some things that this person is good at and start to notice his successes. Thus, you help a person to get a positive experience, switching his attention from a bunch of failures to a bunch of successes!
For example, if a person has the belief “I'm a loser,” you need to notice his luck, focus his attention on them.
If a person has a belief “I can not stand up for myself”, it is necessary to create conditions for him when he will defend his interests and celebrate his successes in this direction.
Summarizing the article, to help a person with the psychology of the victim can be as follows:
More praise people with victim psychology in situations where they do not behave like a victim, note even the slightest of their successes in all spheres of life. Talk about them becoming more confident."In time, it will become true.