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The article is subjective and expresses the personal opinion of the author.
Almost everyone has been in situations where they are being manipulated. And he himself tried to do this, that is, by cunning to get something desired from others. Parents and teachers, young children and adolescents are no exception. The reasons are different: desires, desire for power and desire to help, personality type. However, no one wants to become an object of manipulation, which means that they must be able to recognize and avoid them.
Bad manipulation
Manipulation is a type of psychological impact on a person with the aim of obtaining behavior beneficial to the manipulator from him. This is when they try to change the perception or behavior of other people with the help of hidden information, provocation or coercion - in favor of the manipulator.
And this is the main thing for understanding. The purpose of manipulation is to obtain benefits for the manipulator at the expense of other people. Therefore, we consider such actions dishonest, since they are built on deception and actual coercion, a kind of psychological violence.
There is a lot of talk now about how the media manipulate public opinion, but in the same way these tools work in the family, at school, in relationships with friends. The same methods. Let's start with the root causes, which, as often happens in human behavior, you need to look for in childhood.
1. Distraction
Oh, it starts from infancy! Distract from a dirty puddle, sweets, all undesirable. The reverse side of such actions: a person grows up not purposeful and ... easily manipulated. Therefore, where is the best way to explain what is possible and what is not and why.
2. Infantilization
This is when people - small or large - are not allowed to show independence. Childhood officially ended at 16, 18, 21, 25 years old ... Now WHO is discussing the extension of "childhood" to 30 years. But a hundred years ago, a 14-year-old teenager was an adult with all the ensuing consequences. Is it possible that today the human brain has changed so physiologically that it cannot make decisions on its own until the age of 30? In a word, its independence and encouragement in children is a method of counteracting manipulations in relation to them.
3. Emphasis on emotion rather than common sense and thought
Well, who among us did not face the situation when they “wind up”, making an elephant out of a fly? When it is already impossible to calmly discuss the topic and figure out what is normal and what is not very. Screaming, mental pressure, nerves - all these are manipulations, even if a person does not do so on purpose. And, yes, uncontrolled behavior - tantrums - is also a classic form of manipulation.
4. Silence of the important
The desire to keep children (and adults, too) ignorant of important things leads not only to developmental delay or naivety, but also to the fact that they can become victims of manipulation. Even if it is done well-intentioned. How many times have we heard “this is not a childish theme” - about sex, crime, the real world? Of course, such topics should be explained delicately, at a level corresponding to the age of the child, but definitely not to be silent. Otherwise, it can cause tragedy.
5. Cultivation of guilt
Perhaps this is the most applicable method of manipulation in education. To be ashamed so that the little person is afraid to even appear in front of others. To sit quietly like a mouse. To blame myself for everything. To be afraid to make mistakes, and therefore to try to do something new.
As a response, such a pin-pong often arises: “This is not my cant!” Or just a loss of understanding of what is really terrible and what is “well, it happens”, we drove through and forgot. And this loss of understanding “what is good and what is bad” is an extremely undesirable thing, and therefore it is worth avoiding the method of “blaming” and “blaming”.
6. Corner
Creating a situation where there is “only one solution” - the manipulator needs it. This is the worst kind of manipulation. Because here - sheer villainy, deception, provocation and all that. In addition, manipulators are usually good psychologists. They feel when we doubt and are ashamed, see our vanity and other weaknesses. And they play on them - to our detriment. Almost always in relationships, such people tend to have a one-sided advantage, while saying the “right” words. And they treat their acquaintances (friends, partners) as “things.” It’s better to just avoid such people.
There are many more other methods of manipulation. Some of them are categorically unacceptable among normal people, and some can be used as "good" if you send them to the benefit of another person and observe ethical standards. I will name only a few of these:
- Deferring a promise.
- Gradual - moving towards the desired in parts (without acute situations).
- Creating a kind of "fashion." As soon as we say, “This is cool!”, Then we create this kind of fashion.
The list goes on and on.
Manipulation is usually condemned. But the methods of influence can be both “bad” and “good”. Where does this thin line lie? About it next time.
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