At recess, our October counselor Lucy came to me and said:
- Deniska, will you be able to perform at the concert? We decided to organize two kids to be satirists. Do you want to?
- I say:
- I want everything! Just you tell me what satirists are.
Deniska
- Lyusya says:
- You see, we have various problems... Well, for example, double-crossers or lazybones, they have to be captured. Do you understand? You have to speak about them to make everybody laugh, it will have a sobering effect on them.
- I say:
- They are not drunk, they are just lazy.
- That's what they say: "Sobering," laughed Lucy. - In fact, these guys will just think about it, they'll feel uncomfortable, and they'll get better. Do you understand? Well, don't drag it out: if you want to do it, agree, if you don't want to do it, say no!
I said:
- Okay, come on!
The counselor Lyusya
- Then Lucy asked:
- Do you have a partner?
- There is no such thing.
- Lucia was surprised:
- How do you live without a comrade?
- I have a comrade, Mischka. And there is no partner.
- Lyusya smiled again:
- It's almost the same thing. Is it musical, Bear yours?
- No, ordinary.
- Can she sing?
- It's very quiet. But I will teach him to sing louder, don't worry.
- Here Lusya was happy:
- After lessons, bring him to the small hall, there will be a rehearsal!
And I started looking for Bear from all my legs. He was standing in the cupboard eating a sausage.
- Bear, do you want to be a satirist?
- And he said:
- Wait, let me finish my meal.
I was standing there watching him eat. He was small, and the sausage was thicker than his neck. He held the sausage with his hands and ate it right in one piece, did not cut it open, and the skin cracked and burst when he bit it and sprayed hot, smelly juice from there.
- And I couldn't stand it and told Aunt Katya:
- Give me a sausage too, please, quickly!
And Aunt Katya immediately gave me a bowl. And I was in a hurry so that Bear could not eat his sausage without me: I alone would not have tasted so good. And so I took my sausage with my hands, and I, too, did not clean it, began to chew it, and sprayed hot, smelly juice out of it. And Bear and I were gnawing at each other, and we were burning and looking at each other, and smiling.
Boys eat sausages
And then I told him that we were going to be satirists, and he said yes, and we barely finished our lessons, and then ran to the small hall for rehearsal.
Our counselor Lucius was already sitting there, and there was one boy with her, approximately from the fourth, very ugly, with small ears and big eyes.
- Lyusya said:
- Here they are! Please meet our school poet Andrei Shestakov.
- We said:
- Great!
Where it is visible, where it is heard - V.Yu.
We turned our backs on him, so he wouldn't have to worry about it.
- And the poet said to Lucy:
- What are these, performers or something?
- Yes.
- He said:
- Wasn't there anything bigger?
The author of poems
- Lyusya said:
- Just what it takes!
- But here came our singing teacher Boris Sergeyevich. He immediately approached the piano:
- Well, here we go! Where are the poems?
- Andryushka took out a leaf from his pocket and said:
- Here. I took the size and chorus from Marshak, from a fairy tale about a donkey, grandfather and grandson: "Where is it visible, where is it heard..."
- Boris Sergeyevich nodded:
- Read aloud!
- Andryushka began to read:
Vasya's father is strong in mathematics,
Daddy's been studying for you all year.
Where you can see it, where you can hear it -
Daddy decides, and Vasya's turning in?!
Bear and I sprayed it. Of course, the guys often ask their parents to solve the problem for them, and then show the teacher, as if they were such heroes. And the board has not a boom-boom - two! The case is known. Oh, yes, Andryushka, it's great!
- And Andryushka reads further, so quietly and seriously:
Chalk is drawn asphalt on the squares,
Tanechka's maniac is jumping in here.
Where you can see it, where you can hear it -
They're playing "classrooms", but they're not going to class?!
Great again. We really liked it! This Andriushka is just a real good boy, like Pushkin!
- Boris Sergeevich said:
- Nothing, not bad! And the music will be the simplest, that's something like that. - And he took Andryushkin's poems and, quietly playing, sang them all in a row.
It turned out very cleverly, we even slammed our hands.
- And Boris said:
- Well, who are our performers?
- And Lyusya pointed at me and Mischka:
- Here!
- Well, - said Boris Sergeyevich - Misha has a good ear... True, Deniska sings not very correctly.
- I said:
- But loudly.
- And we started repeating these verses to the music and repeated them, probably, fifty times or a thousand times, and I yelled very loudly, and everybody calmed me down and made remarks:
- Don't worry about it! You're quieter! Take it easy! Don't be so loud!
Andryushka was especially hot. He slowed me down completely. But I sang only loudly, I did not want to sing quietly, because the real singing is when it is loud!
- And then one day, when I got to school, I saw an ad in the locker room:
WARNING: The Pioneer Satiricon will be performing today at a big break in the small hall! Performs a duet of kids! To the spite of the day! Come all!
And something in me at once has sunk. I ran to class. Bear was sitting there looking out the window.
- I said:
- Well, tonight's the night!
- And Bear suddenly mumbled:
- I don't want to perform...
- I'm really snapped. How - reluctant? Just like that! We were rehearsing, weren't we? What about Lyusya and Boris Sergeevich? Andriushka? And all the guys, they've read the poster and will come running as one? I said:
- Have you lost your mind? Should I let people down?
- And Mischka is so pitiable:
- My stomach seems to hurt.
- I say:
- It is with fear. I also have pain, but I do not refuse!
But Mischka was still some kind of thoughtful.
During the big break, all the guys rushed to the small hall, and Bear and I could barely spin behind, because I too have completely lost the mood to perform. But at that time Lyusya ran out to meet us, she grabbed us by the hands and pulled us together, but my legs were soft, like a doll, and braided. I must have been the one from Mischka who gave it to me.
In the hall there was a fenced area near the piano, and the guys from all the classes, the nanny and the teacher, gathered around.
Bear and I stood by the piano.
- Boris Sergeyevich was already on the spot, and Lyusya declared her voice to be a dictator:
- We start the performance of "Pioneer Satiricon" on topical issues. Text by Andrei Shestakov, performed by world-famous satirists Misha and Denis! Let's ask!
And Bear and I came out a little ahead. Bear was white as a wall. And I was okay, but my mouth was dry and rough, as if there was sandpaper lying there.
Boris Sergeyevich played. Bears had to start because he sang the first two lines, and I had to sing the second two lines. Boris played, and Bear threw out his left hand, as Lyusya taught him, and wanted to sing, but he was late, and while he was about to, it was my turn to come out on music. But I didn't sing because Bear was late. Why on earth would I do that?
Bear then put his hand down. And Boris Sergeyevich began to sing loudly and separately again.
He hit, as he should have, the keys three times, and the fourth Bear again folded his left hand and finally sang:
Vasya's father is strong in mathematics,
Daddy's been studying for you all year.
- I immediately picked up and shouted:
Where you can see it, where you can hear it -
Daddy decides, and Vasya's turning in?!
Everyone who was in the hall laughed and it made my soul feel better. And Boris Sergeyevich went further. He hit the keys again three times, and on the fourth Bear carefully threw his left hand aside and sang out of the blue at first:
Vasya's dad is strong in math,
Daddy's been studying for you all year.
I knew right away that he was confused! But since this is the case, I decided to finish up the whole thing, and there you will see. I took it and finished it:
Where it is visible, where it is heard, -
Daddy decides, and Vasya's turning in?!
Thank God, it was quiet in the hall - everybody, apparently, also understood that Mischka had lost his temper, and thought: "Well, sometimes, let him sing further.
And the music was running farther and farther at that time. But Mischka was a bit greenish.
And when the music reached the place, he waved his left hand again and, like a record, he started it for the third time:
Vasya's dad is strong in mathematics,
Daddy's been studying for you all year...
- I wanted to punch him in the back of the head with something heavy, and I yelled with a terrible anger:
Where you can see it, where you can hear it -
Daddy decides, and Vasya's turning in?!
Bear, you must be out of your mind! Is this the third time you're delaying the same thing? Let's talk about girls!
- And Bear is so cocky:
- I know without you! - And he says politely to Boris Sergeevich: - Please, Boris Sergeevich, go on!
Boris played, and Mishka suddenly dared, put out his left hand again and on the fourth strike he voted as if nothing had happened:
Vasya's father is strong in mathematics,
Daddy's been studying for you all year...
The boys sing.
Everyone in the hall was laughing, and I saw in the crowd what an unhappy face Andrew had, and I also saw that Lyusya, all red and shredded, was making her way through the crowd. And Bear stands with her mouth open, as if she was surprised at herself. Well, while the court is still in session, I'm shouting:
Where it is visible, where it is heard, -
Daddy decides, and Vasya's turning in?!
Something terrible started here. Everybody laughed like slaughtered, and Bear of green became purple. Our Lyusya grabbed his hand and took him to her place. She screamed:
- Deniska, sing alone! Don't let me down!... Music! И!..
And I was standing at the piano and decided not to let her down. I felt that I didn't care, and when the music got here, for some reason, I threw my left hand out of the way and suddenly screamed:
Vasya's dad is strong in math,
Daddy's been studying for you all year...
I don't even remember what happened next. It was like an earthquake. And I thought I was going to fall completely underground right now, and everybody was just laughing - the nanny and the teacher, everybody, everybody...
I'm surprised I didn't die of that damn song.
I probably would have died if it hadn't been for the call...
I won't be a satirist anymore!