What to do if groundless jealousy exhausts and does not give rest? Where does this feeling come from and how to get rid of it? What is the relationship between jealousy and love? And that to do man, which suffers from someone else's jealousy without reasons? What to do?
Let's define the terms at once. In a relationship between two people, we encounter jealousy as an emotional reaction and jealousy as a feeling. There is a saying "stab of jealousy". It's about jealousy as an emotional reaction. These unpleasant injections are always a signal to understand the relationship or yourself. Imagine a more or less healthy marriage: people get married because they love each other and want to be together for the rest of their lives. Such husband and wife for each other-the only. And the rest of the men and women for them become just people. Yes, the husband may note that this woman is pretty, and the wife that this man is nice, but they look at them, like thousands of other nice and nice people, no more. Therefore, there is no reason for jealousy here!
"If there is love and harmony between the spouses, it is unlikely that anyone will look to the side and look for some adventures. And there is hardly a reason to constantly distrust and suspect her husband of infidelity. Of course, alas, there are exceptions to the rule, sometimes a person who is happily married, there are loves, Hobbies. But these are exceptional situations."
If one of the spouses have jealousy injections-this is an occasion to deal with the reasons. To think: does my jealousy have real ground? My spouse has lost interest in me and is really interested in another woman (man)? And if you understand that in any direction your spouse is not looking, that he still loves you without memory, but for some reason you were hurt by how friendly he communicates, for example, with his colleague on the phone, then the question to you: what makes you feel this unpleasant zealous reaction? Do you have a problem with your self-esteem? Did you feel vulnerable, or did you temporarily lose your sense of unconditional worth as a person? With this need to necessarily deal.
Jealousy as an emotional reaction is an unpleasant phenomenon, but it is easy to cope with it, and it is not necessary to urgently run for help to a specialist. If you pay attention to this signal and begin to understand its causes, then most likely, jealousy will no longer torment you.
But jealousy as a feeling is a long, deep and painful state. A person who is immersed in it, begin different painful thoughts, conjectures and fantasies that do not give a quiet life.
— Is it possible to say that jealousy as an emotional reaction is the first stage that can develop into jealousy as a feeling?
"Sometimes, but not necessarily. Jealousy as an emotional reaction has a specific reason. For example, a man was hurt when his wife, as it seemed to him, too coquettishly talked to their mutual acquaintance. This reason may be exaggerated, far-fetched, but it is usually there. But jealousy as a feeling can occur absolutely nowhere, when a person begins to think of something, to dream, begins to suspect to track down, interpret a completely neutral thing as a danger to herself. This is painful both for the one who is jealous and for the one who is jealous: it poisons everyone's life and often leads to sad consequences.
I suffer from jealousy. What to do?
— Do people who suffer from jealousy often come for consultations?
— More often still come people who suffer from someone else's jealousy-it's very hard when you are constantly suspected, watching you. And there are cases when a person who has never cheated and did not think to leave the family, is so tormented by jealousy that he wants to escape.
— If this is a situation of groundless jealousy, can the person do something? Or no excuses, confessions of loyalty, attempts to prove that there is no reason to be jealous, will not work?
"A man who is jealous can usually do little. Jealousy on the empty seat says that a person has psychological difficulties of a personal nature. Maybe he is not sure of himself, and therefore constantly compares himself with others. Or maybe this person himself is capable of treason (changed before or is going to change) and, knowing that he is unfaithful, suspects of infidelity and his spouse. The most dangerous, in my opinion, the situation when the constant, we can say, manic groundless jealousy-a symptom of mental abnormality or onset of the disease. The difficulty here is that only a doctor diagnoses, but jealousy is not considered a reason to consult a psychiatrist. Not starting treatment on time, "jealous" runs the risk of starting the disease, and the development of the disease can threaten both himself and his family.