My roommate in the bachelor's program was in his early thirties, owner of a successful computer game company and already finished his studies. Little by little his friends got married, had children and began to separate again. He remained the childless single. But like many unrelated, childless people, he believed he could give the best advice on family planning.
He regularly shared one of these devices with me and my friends:
"Get pregnant while studying! You will never have that much time again! "
Now I'm not sure if he wanted to get one of my girlfriends to drop his neck and say YES, PLEASE. Anyway, he remained single until my move to Berlin.
I was in my early twenties and had other worries than having a baby. I did not have any worries! As I said in my early twenties, I studied, worked a lot to travel, went to partying and enjoyed life to the fullest. Horny, right? Phew, those were still times.
Fast forward to Berlin and me catapulted once to mid/late 20s and to the end of my Master's degree: I got a little unexpectedly pregnant. But really just something, because you darling, if you read this here in the future, was the most dreamlike wish child!
I thought again about my roommate. Should he be right? Was it, in the end, the happy fortune of destiny to have a child while studying? But there was still some time and in principle, only the master thesis and the completion of a final course were finished! Haha, 'only'.
If you are reading this, and maybe you are not yet 30, and studying is your main occupation, or you know someone who is in this situation, maybe I can help you. Because yes, you can get it all somehow.
Organize your studies. And pregnant.
As soon as you get the diagnosis "pregnant" and before you panic, you should first breathe deeply, and be happy. (This text is from my, so described the heteronormative perspective of a couple who in principle wanted children, and for the abortion was actually out of the question.) That many young women in the middle of the study even without a partner so inadvertently pregnant, and then completely I'm aware of other problems, but there are also counseling options, funding options and the possibility of abortion.)
Or give a bit of healthy panic? How should you do it all? Should one stop studying? Interrupt? Did that have to be now?
Just as a study, every pregnancy is different, every birth, every child. The hints, tips, and suggestions I refer to here are, of course, void at the moment complications occur. It may be that you are suddenly forced to bed rest and are too tired to read scientific texts every day. It may be that the birth ends in an emergency cesarean section, and you have not recovered physically eight weeks after. And it may be that a mild postpartum blues develop into postpartum depression.
It makes a difference whether one expects the child together with a partner, whether one already knows during the birth that one will be a single parent, whether the partner is also studying, doing a doctorate or already working, whether as an expectant mother or father Beginning of studies or at the end is whether the birth will fall into the middle of the examination phase or during the lecture-free time, whether one will be the first in the circle of friends or family with a child, or if already many acquaintances deny their lives with children. All these sometimes quite contradictory factors make a significant difference.
But what I want to give you directions on the way: Do not be blue-eyed. Arranging a child and studying is a very different challenge than making a job and a child compatible (apart from the fact that you can also get pregnant in a dual study program, or have been working long ago and are doing a master's degree). You may be more flexible with your timing, but you have no quitting time in both areas of life. I always felt I had to work on something. Assume that your studies will take longer and have no problem with it.
Continued in Part 2 https://zen.yandex.ru/media/id/5d7a3bf16d29c13cef8cb4d0/pregnant-while-studying-happy-coincidence-or-unhappy-accident-part-2-5d8fa1f1bd639600b14c9e5a