Self-care. It’s a term you’ve likely heard many times before reading this article and probably will many times after. And after all, why shouldn’t it enter the common sphere? There’s something so human about wanting to reward yourself, to do something nice for yourself that only you can do. I know I’ve certainly used the word many times to justify staying home when I don’t want to go out, or eating a piece of chocolate when I’m really craving one.
So much of popular culture revolves around negative self-talk that it can be difficult to be kind to yourself. How often have you needed to take a mental health day but forced yourself to go to work? How many times have you convinced yourself to do something that you really didn’t want to do? That’s not to say you shouldn’t have some level of self-discipline, but being kind doesn’t have to necessarily be in opposition to that.
There’s nothing more gratifying than picking up a cupcake or putting on a face mask while quietly whispering “self-care” to yourself.
The short and long of it is that you shouldn’t have to justify doing nice things for yourself. Going to a yoga class or making sure you drink that extra glass of water is just as important as knowing that you need to prioritize your alone time over drinks with friends. Society tells us that we always need to be on, that you should always choose what you ought to do over what you want to do. But that couldn’t be further from the truth.
You should show yourself the same level of care you show people you care about.
Remember the last time you told your friend they were working too hard and needed to take a break? ….And now remember how often you’ve stayed up late working while surviving on Monster energy drinks and chips? What would you tell yourself if you were someone else?
Often, it’s easy to take yourself out of the equation. Why treat yourself nicely when you need to catch up, need to be perfect? It’s not as if anyone can hear the rationales and excuses you come up with in your own mind. Because if they could, it might be concerning. Imagine repeating the kind of negative self-talk out loud that you say to yourself… that you’ll get fat if you eat one cookie or that you’re not enough if you say no to anything. It would be completely out of line.
Showing yourself a certain level of self-care is important. It’s giving yourself value, and a value that you can see in action. And it isn’t always the ‘treat yo-self’ mindset of that extra piece of chocolate. Self-care means going to the doctor, attending that extra fitness class or adding more vegetables to your diet. The media might portray it something that exists as indulgence, but it’s more than that.
Therein lies the paradox.
If you’ve read about self-care before, you’ve likely heard it in those kind of contexts: treat yo-self, justifying actions and indulging in behaviour that you only do every so often. And while that is a valid way to practice self-care, it can also quickly turn unhealthy. Rewards only mean something if given for the right reasons. You shouldn’t need a reason to treat yourself to anything.
Self-care isn’t a synonym for justification, it’s another way of saying be kind and mindful to yourself.
It’s all too easy to indulge in Oreos everyday, and self-care is an easy culprit to pick — but it misses the point entirely. Self-care is recognizing when you’re tired and proactively taking that mental health day. It’s increasing your water intake or attending that extra morning yoga class because it feels good to do so. Like so many buzzphrases that include the term ‘mindfulness’ in their definition, self-care is personal. Everyone has a one-of-a-kind doctor that knows exactly what you need, and no one knows you better than yourself.
Maybe some days self-care is getting some cake and binging a Netflix show. Other days its might be choosing not to do that and going on a walk outside to stretch. It’s not a one-pill shop where everyone has the same dosage. It changes day to day and you can practice it all the time. After all, why not add another way of practicing kindness to your daily routine? No one specified to whom the kindness had to be directed.