(So, fifth-grade again, got a drama piece fer ya.)
(I notice myself in a very dark and hot place, rock mountains to my left, thick water to my right... Looking for a partner, I do not notice anyone in my way, until a dead man leaps towards me.)
The Man (with a doubled and very deep voice): Who are you, little girl? Are you a new goddess sent from Asgard to us? (He looks closer, but doesn't find any trace of heaven on me.) Oh, you aren't! Then what are you doing in Helheim?! This place is only for dead people!
Me: Ah wanna speak with yer queen.
The Man: What for???
Me: Just a simple interview.
(The man leads me to Hel, their trusted queen.)
The Man: O, the evilest and darkest woman of our kingdom! A simple little girl desires speaking to you!
Unknown voice (deep and creaky, seemingly belonging to a woman): Leave her to me!
(The man leaves and soon I see Hel', the Queen of Helheim, in person. Man, she is truly the scariest person I could've ever met, her double face and body revealing her untrustable nature, living, but dead. Looking at me she starts speaking.)
Hel' (the voice from before is revealed to be hers): So, what do you need from me, the Queen of Heat and Darkness?
Me: Yer Underground-
Hel': DARKNESS!
Me: Right... yer Darkness, ah just wanted to give ya a simple interview. It goes like this: ah ask questions to ya and ya answer 'em.
Hel': I'm sorry, little girl, but it is always me, who asks questions, not you.
Me: But this time it should be me. Only fer now.... (beat. I'm a little hesitant) Deal?
Hel': (beat) Fine.
(I pull out my notepad.)
Me: So, first question: who are ya workin' as?
Hel': Silly girl, do queens have work?
Me: As a queen, yeah. Please, dun call me silly, ok?
Hel': Ok, ok. (thinking) "What a steadfast girl she is!" (to me) Next?
Me: What time do ya get up and how do ya spend yer morning?
Hel': Listen, that's a tricky one. I don't know anything about time, so I get up whenever I want. Then I go check my Helheim mates and subjects to be sure they're all suffering.
Me: Good, but can ah switch "suffering" to "in bad condition"? They basically sound the same.
Hel': Good idea. Next question.
Me: Do ya have breakfast or do ya prefer staying hungry?
Hel': I eat whenever I want, dear. As I was saying, I don't know anything about time. I usually eat worms if I find ones at Midgard or some foul berries from there. I don't really care about myself, you know.
Me: (thinking) "So much fer keepin' up the undead attitude." (to her) Fine. Do ya do anythin' from yer "workin' schedule" during the day? (I catch Hel's death glare.) Ah mean, somethin' important fer ya, yer Darkness?
Hel': Hmm... Sometimes I go training my loyal subjects, teach them new tricks, but it fails constantly.
Me:(thinking) "Whoa, a bootcamp right there! Wow... cool".
Hel':... At the very least, I may visit Asgard from time to time, but they don't really accept death queens there.
Me: (thinking) ""Death Queens"... sounds like a death metal band name. And a really cool one." (to her) So, ya seem to be a kinda-sorta unsociable woman, yeah?
Hel': HOW DID YOU SAY???
Me: (hardly regaining my composure) Unsociable, like, not willin' to talk to anyone...
Hel': Well, you know, I'm just so close to my underground friends, that I don't want to talk to anyone else.
Me: So, ya count yer soldier trainin' as a hobby?
Hel': What did you mean?
Me: Y'know, favorite thing to do or so.
Hel': You're right, little girl. Training with my loyal subjects makes me feel like I'm in Valhalla.
Me: And the last three questions: do you ever go to bed and at what time? Your catchphrase?
Hel': Why going to bed? Well, I take a nap sometimes, but why do I need it? It's enough light for me, and isn't it true that people go to bed because of not basking in the sun for long enough, eh?
Me: Ah think ah totally agree with ya, yer Darkness (Spoiler alert: no, ah didn't really.)
Hel': And about that catchphrase, eh? Well, I think it would be... "Darkness, behold!"
Me: (thinking) "That's kinda lame, but it might be still a work in progress..." (to her, applauding) That's a great idea, yer Darkness!
Hel': Thank you, thank you, thank you. (bows)
(We hear a knock on the door. The dead man from earlier comes in.)
The man: Now, your Darkness, what are we doing with the girl?
Hel': Teleport her home... but don't dare messing with her! Or I'll punish you!
(When I am back home, Candace Flynn meets me and immediately starts asking where I have been for so long, stating that The Treasure Island crew were worried sick about me. I show her my notepad... That moment we both realise it is going to be a long investigation straight from Helheim, signed by the Queen herself.)
(Ok, so this is not the ending ah wrote before, just changed it to fit with mah current situation with cartoons. An' yeah, ah have this accent in real life.)