Not every woman can develop a "female spirit", not every man can develop a "male spirit", not even these two "men and women" can always meet and love, because this pure love is very hard to come by.
In the "heart center" relationship, the most common is the relationship of family attachment. After living together for a long time, two people are like two trees growing adjacent to each other. The roots are entangled and can not be separated, such as father and daughter, such as mother and child, such as brother and sister. Just as a woman is thinking about the little man who is "heart", she imagines the heart: "My feelings with my husband are not so much men and women as it is a brother and sister family. Going home from work, I cook, he sees TV, I think I am a big sister full of motherhood. He is like a little brother who is favored. I know that he has shortcomings, he doesn't like to work, and sometimes he doesn't care about me. But these shortcomings make me like more than the advantages. He--like a mother or a long-sister who doesn't like the perfect boy, prefers the imperfect boy." The marriage, in this case, is "family marriage." There is warmth in the home, but it is relatively dull and lacks obvious gender awareness. Some unfortunate people, "heart center" is dissatisfied with their partner's attitude and do not like it, so they always feel the unhappy marriage.
"Sex center"
The “sex center” values sex. He is the least social and biological center. What he asks for the opposite sex is to give himself the fullest sex and joy.
The "sexual center" harmonious relationship between husband and wife is passionate and frenetic. In terms of sex, the two sides deeply need each other and are hungry. Sex is exciting, crazy, scorching, like two animals, they forget who you are, who you are, what character I am, only know that I am a man, you are a woman. The great power of “sexual center” harmony can connect men and women who do not like each other, sometimes even hate and hate each other.
"Three-party talks"
The most ideal marriage is that two people are attracted to each other at three "points". They are confident to each other in thought, intellectually rival each other, love each other emotionally, and be sexually harmonious. In other words, in the living room, they are close friends, in the kitchen is a family of intimacy and warmth, in the bed is a frenetic and vital animal. This kind of marriage is extremely rare. We should not deliberately pursue it, because you may not be able to pursue a lifetime, but you have lost a marriage that is not so perfect but also said.
When a person is in conflict with "is not married to him" or "divorce", he and the other party will not have a bond in the "head", "heart", "sex", if there is no bond, Both sides will easily break up. There are connection points in the "three points", and there are also points of rejection, so there are various contradictions. Such as sensible thinking that the other party is not suitable, but emotionally reluctant, knowing that it should not love but can not love; or, emotionally do not like each other, but because of the bond of sex.
When discussing “head”, “heart” and “sex”, you will find out how different their values are. When there is a contradiction between them, the attitude and evaluation of the same person will be the opposite. One woman once talked for an hour about why she wanted to divorce: "He doesn't know how to care for people, indifference; his values are too different from me..." But when her "heart" speaks, "heart" only Speaking: "I don't dare to leave him, I am afraid to leave him." "Sexuality" also said only one sentence: "I don't think it is enough." And finally, the lady still has no divorce. I think it is her heart that does not allow her to leave.
When you are confused, you don't know if you love him or her, hate is indifferent, don't know if you should walk away quietly, or bravely stay, you can let yourself open a "three-party talks." In this way, all kinds of emotions, such as "cutting constantly, and still chaos", can come up with a clue. Maybe you still can't solve the inner conflict, but at least you know, at which point are you connected? At what point do you need to establish a new connection?
"Love can be said clearly, and some points are confused." Love can never be fully explained, but with the "three-point" analysis method, we can be more awake in love, one less point. Confused, more understanding, less error.