Each person has a different life, each lives his own way. But the indisputable truth is that life is a priceless treasure granted to us by God. The well-known American philosopher and psychologist W. James said this very accurately: “Do not be afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living, and given to you according to your faith. ”
It was getting dark. The spring overlay was poured in thick sumach in the sky, comfortably arranged on the roofs, skillfully woven into the crowns of flowering trees. It seemed that such beauty was impossible not to notice. And Mile did not care what was happening around. She had been wandering the streets of the city for more than an hour. Sadly dropping her head, she did not pay attention to passers-by, who accompanied the gaze of a strange girl in a wheelchair, rolling aimlessly in circles. No one cared about her. And she so wanted that at least someone spoke, asked how are you, paid at least a little attention.
Once convinced that she was again a stranger among her own, Mila turned into a quiet alley in the park that led to the river. The evening was getting thicker, the air smelled of spring, fresh grass, mimosa flowers. Around everything was filled with life ... and to her, that life seemed rancid, lonely, gray and unnecessary. The girl stopped for a moment, looked around, breathed in full spicy, surprisingly fresh air, and closed her eyes for a few seconds. Then she resolutely directed the cart towards the water. The river joyfully met her with a melodic rehash of waves. The sun was already hidden behind the horizon, leaving behind pink, halo-like sakura.
Mila raised her head, looked at the dark sky, smiled, and whispering: “Either now or never,” leaned forward sharply. The heart was beating furiously, it seemed that it was about to break out of its chest and fly up like a bird beyond the clouds. She could almost feel how her disfigured body, together with such a hateful weight, sank to the bottom of the river, how cold waves lull her consciousness ... Another fraction of a second and ...
“And who wanders here until late?” - She heard a girl behind her senile voice and startled.
“I ...” Mila croaked shyly.
From emotions and fear, the girl's voice sat down.
- Who am I"? And what did you think of yourself? - stubbornly asked the savior.
The stranger came close to Mila and seemed to be trying to see the girl's face through the darkness. At least so it seemed to her. It was an old grandfather with a gray beard, in a funny motley coat and an even funnier hat with a tambourine. There was a huge bag in one hand and a curved wooden stick in the other.
- Who is this “me”? What's your name? - Grandfather did not leave his curiosity.
“Mila,” the girl felt in alarm. Who knows what this old man has in mind?
“And I'm Philip Semenovich,” the old man said more affably, and after a while, he added, “But I love when they call me just grandfather Philip.” So we met, that's good.
“Yes ... Probably ...” the girl whispered hesitantly, her voice still in a trembling, hoarse voice.
- I’ll sit here with you for a little while - without asking, without affirming much, said Philipp Semyonovich, feeling the place with a stick.
Having laid his huge bag on the grass, grandfather comfortably settled down next to Milina's cart.
- Here, I went out to pick grass rabbits.
- Almost at night? - The girl was surprised.
“What's the difference to me?” - the old man grinned bitterly. - What day, then night, I do not care. But what are you doing here at this late time? Don't you have to go home?
Mila was silent. She really did not know what to answer. Tell the truth to a random acquaintance? And somehow awkward... To lie Spit something? She also did not want this, because Grandpa Philip was a simple and friendly person. And in addition to everything, the first living soul who spoke to her today. How to be?
- Are you silent? - Interrupted by the question of the girl’s thoughts Philip Semenovich. - Well, shut up, shut up. Do you think that grandfather is old and does not understand anything?
- Well no …
- I immediately understood everything. But just think, why do you need this? To lose a life, when it is just beginning, and clearing his throat a little, he added: “Well, if you don’t want to speak, don’t speak ... This is apparently not my thing.
And Mila could no longer be silent. Not holding back hot and plentiful, like a summer shower of tears, the girl began her story. She talked for a long time and in detail. And about childhood, cheerful and cloudless, and about youth, and about that terrible accident in which she barely survived and remained chained to a stroller for life. About how in the same accident she lost her parents, about the inexpressible pain of loneliness and uselessness. She shared with her grandfather Philip intimate and painful.
“... Like this ...” the girl concluded her confession. “That was my only way out.”
Philip Semenovich all this time carefully listened to Mila. Without interrupting, and without specifying, he simply sat and listened to the cry of a wounded young soul. At some point, the girl even thought that the old man dozed off. “So what ...” she thought, “it’s even better, I will speak out in the darkness of the night, in silence ... who needs other people's problems?” And he asked, apparently, for a look. ” But only Mila finished the story, how grandfather Philip he extended his back and clapping his hands exclaimed:
- What a fool! Stupid cub! To commit suicide only because doctors do not give hope? Faith ... Where is your faith? Where is the desire to live, no matter what?
The girl did not know what to answer grandfather. My heartfelt that the old man was right. She was very ashamed.
- After all, life is a gift of God. And only He who has gifted can take it. - Continued to blame the girl Philip Semenovich.
“Do you think my life was easier?” I suffered so much grief, suffered so many troubles ... War, hunger and cold are not the worst things that happened on my life path. In front of my eyes, my mother and older brother were shot. I was seriously injured. But I did not give up, I always found something to live for.
The grandfather was silent. He seemed to be waiting for the girl to say that she understood everything, that she was mistaken, that life was really beautiful. But her reaction to what her grandfather said was completely different:
- And for what life? - Mila exclaimed in despair. “No parents, no relatives, no friends!” Around everything is gray and colorless...
“Yes, even for the sake of it ...” said the grandfather with a smile and pointed with one hand to the east.
Another touched the cheeks overgrown with thick gray hair, on which a timid sunbeam comfortably settled down.
The beginning of dawn. From behind the domes of the trees, the first rays of the sun spilled. So light, warm and ... life-giving.
- Do you see this? The old man asked, turning to the girl.
“I see,” Mila said, not understanding what exactly the interlocutor wants to tell her.
She was already very tired, sleepless nights affected. In addition to everything else, there was a thick fog, swirling over a large mirror of the river and began painfully wading under clothes.
- Philip Semenovich, I am very grateful to you for listening, paying attention, and apparently I have to go home. Goodbye.
She unrolled the stroller and already driving away from her place for the night she heard what made her return:
- And I would give everything in the world in order to at least once see the sunrise, or the stars, or the blossoms of the spring garden...
- So you ... And how? - Straying, the girl tried to tie the words together.
Silence fell in the air for a while. Heavy and malleable. Only now Mila began to understand everything. Everything fell into place - and how grandfather Philip felt the grass with a stick before he spread the bag, and the night time to prepare food for the rabbits ... She peered more and more closely into the wrinkled face of the grandfather ... Oh, God!
“Yes, I'm blind ... since my youth,” said grandfather Philip and smiled. “But he always held on to life.” Whatever trials she would send me. I learned to value what I have, and not to regret what is not. And I advise you to try.
Mila listened to the old man and plentiful hot tears rolled from her eyes. She was so ashamed. I am ashamed of my cowardice, of my inability to value life. She drove closer to Philip Semenovich and bent over and kissed his old man's cheek cut by years of cobwebs.
“Thank you,” she whispered, barely audible. - Thank.
Meanwhile, the sun rose higher and higher above the world, covering the blue tablecloth of the sky with gilding.
“Lord, thank you for the guardian angel,” the girl whispered and blinked quickly at her grandfather.
Mila helped grandfather Philip pick grass for rabbits and escorted the old man home. At home, Philip Semenovich introduced the girl to his grandson Sasha, who lived with his grandfather and helped with the housework. The guy really liked the blue-eyed beauty and he volunteered to spend it.
Approaching the door of Milina’s apartment, a new acquaintance, bashfully looking away, asked:
- And can I run a minute in the evening?
The girl waved her head in the affirmative and laughed for the first time in recent months. Sincerely and loudly.
“Still, life is a wonderful thing and ... unpredictable.” The main thing is to learn to appreciate it!