Achieving a goal (or any activity) is as difficult as it involves overcoming internal limitations. I am absolutely convinced of this.
For example, when people ask me if my profession is difficult (or say it is), I tend to say, "not For me."
In my opinion, a "difficult profession" is one to which a person has no predisposition, interest and motivation.
All my life I loved to observe people, to understand them and my inner world. I always liked to analyze and synthesize information, find relationships, understand the mechanisms of what is happening, notice the logic, then to guide the process.
It's not hard for me to be a therapist. It would be difficult for me to be a lawyer or an economist. There, in my opinion, the devil will break his leg. So, when for example lawyer says me: "Wow, complex have you profession!"I could well say,' Come on, it's complicated.'
Each of us has a certain system of habits, ideas and ideas inside. And based on it, some things are difficult for us, and some are easy. But.
The person who is in constant development (and I all-for that people developed), inevitably faces situations which can be solved, only having changed the picture of the world. That's difficult.
The vast majority of cases when a person rests against the "glass ceiling", I am sure, is associated with such a collision. It doesn't matter if it happens in education, business, sports or creativity. Here you need a qualitative internal change to move to another level of linear development to the next "glass ceiling".
A person who fights for such a transition is under enormous stress mental strength. Believe me, it is really difficult: to change at a deep level, to change your basic ideas and habits.
This can be seen very clearly in the attitude towards money and social status.
At a certain point I noticed a very interesting fact. People struggle to move from one level of security to another.
I'll try to demonstrate.
You've certainly seen homeless people on the street begging or just sleeping on cardboard. Their history is usually associated with the lack of housing, work and documents.
And now attention, question. If you imagine a situation that, God forbid, for some reason, you now will not have a passport, residence permit, housing and documents... how long will it take You to return to your current level of income? Well, maybe not exactly the same, but comparable.
I can assume that for most of You the answer will be within a few months. And people live for years and decades in this state.
Stop for a moment, try this thought. What for one person (in this case a beggar) is an impossible task, for You is in the order of things!
I was very impressed when I first understood and felt this fact.
And now another experiment. If you earn within 100 thousand rubles, imagine that you get 10 million rubles a month. Cool? Cool! But.
As a psychologist, I am trained to recognize the most hidden impulses and feelings within me. And you know what I discovered when I did this experiment myself? Alarm and resistance!
It turned out that part of me didn't want to be better off. Because, "What am I going to do with this money? How to manage them? How not to lose them? How do I communicate with people when I will earn so much? How do I not lose myself and let that money control me? How to maintain relationships with loved ones?". It does not matter that there are rational answers to these questions. The unconscious lives by its own laws.
This resistance has its causes and origins. And to overcome it, you have to change something very long and deeply rooted in the psyche.
I am comfortable in the middle class, and it is difficult to become more wealthy, even when there are people around who can tell exactly what to do. Psychologically difficult. Although many millionaires say that earning millions is easy. Similarly, a beggar can't stop being a beggar, which doesn't seem like such a big deal to me.
You know what I mean?"
And so it happens in any sphere of life, the example of money is simply the most obvious and measurable. It can be about sporting success, building a career, achieving recognition in the arts, developing relationships, in the end just about psychological development and the ability to be yourself.
"Glass ceiling" everyone has their own. But it is invariably difficult to overcome. Psychotherapy helps to do this, but it is also extremely important to support loved ones.
Unfortunately, somehow it happened in our country that we devalue a lot and support very little. This is everywhere, but we have this feature firmly established in the mentality.
Meanwhile, at the moment of transition from one level to another, the person inside is experiencing a real struggle with his life scenario. UPS and downs, successes and setbacks, and sometimes extreme fatigue, impotence and despair...
Even if you can't see it, you have no idea how important the support of loved ones is in such periods. Sometimes a person has the strength to resist criticism, but sometimes one phrase thrown in passing kills his motivation for a long time. As well as words of support help to perk up and move forward with renewed vigor.
And know, with those who devalues, communicate want all less. Because every time it's a little betrayal. The one you expect to support hurts.
The most interesting thing is that depreciation is often associated with an unconscious fear of losing a loved one if he changes. But the truth is, by supporting, it's much easier to maintain a relationship, and the chances are better.
After all, when a person achieves success, he is always grateful to those who were with him on this difficult path and helped him in difficult moments. And if it does not, it is all the more important that there is support.
In the case of depreciation, the opposite is true. Either he will completely stop the relationship in case of success (well, because why do we need those who did not believe in him and prevented progress), or deep down he will blame critics for the defeat, which in the end also very often leads to a breakup.