Why are people offended? What happens to a person at this moment? What causes resentment? How to get rid of resentment? Is it a feeling or just an emotion? We will try to understand this.
Resentment is a feeling, although many psychologists say that it is only an emotion, and not just a feeling, but a whole range of feelings. It is a state of mind, very stable and lasting.
Resentment arises from unfairly caused distress, hurting self-esteem. A person can be offended by the "oblique" look, insulting words, from unjustified expectations or someone said something about you, or even at all, to attract attention. It depends on the character of the person, his development and education.
But the strongest resentment comes precisely because of the heightened reaction to injustice and this feeling is deeply personal and extremely subjective. After all, everyone sees justice in their own way.
Resentment is common, normal, and widespread. We've all been offended. Maybe nothing, maybe very serious, even in principle. But in any case - it is absolutely joyless and painful feeling. Like nothing special, but a man's soul corrodes.
What happens to us in a moment of resentment? It's a whole flurry of emotions, resentment, anger, anger, anger. It's like a blow, a kick, a wound! And it is very difficult to cope with these emotions, and if they surged all at once?
It is difficult not to pay attention to someone else's opinion about yourself, to rude words and actions in your direction. And not give a reason not to offend is almost impossible!
I will not give any recommendations, because as a psychologist should consider each case. And in General the offense is one of the most ancient problems for mankind with which fight still
It was my own statistics that made me think about it. How many women come with the same question – why the husband, leaving me, me also offends and accuses of all serious?
He's the one who's going off to someone else, he's cheated on me, he's leaving me with nothing, so why hurt me with horrible accusations?
Unfortunately, the mentality of our men is like this! He leader, he always rights! Even before timid in family relations men, at parting of their fault are aggressive. Because the blame!
And it is necessary to justify himself somehow, so he accuses his wife of anything, he says, she drove him, she is so bad that he went on a spree! And at the same time still such talk that you do not want to live.
Remember, only a weak man behaves like that, weak and worthless. Don't hold on to them! Of course, it's a shame to hear unflattering statements about yourself, and it's so painful to part, but there's nothing to be done.
Endure some time, do not take to heart everything said – it's not true! Just to make it easier for him to get away from You and he invented all this, even in the depths of his soul without realizing what he was doing.
My advice as an experienced psychologist – in such situations, behave very restrained, dignified and calm. Don't lose your balance. Your strength is self – confidence! And know that a man worthy of You would never dare to offend you. So "this one" was a mistake! Fix it!