Went back.
What the hell is wrong with me?!
behalf of Fatima
Hate. Hate. Hate. Insolent! How dare he.
Tears, not stopping, flowed with a new force.
I feel like a dirty liar. Vile. I hate myself! I hate him! Hate all! Why is that? Why can't I just be happy? What have I done wrong in this world to be punished like this? It's all my fault. Whoever I'm attached to is falling apart like a house of cards.
Fortunately, no one was home.
Exhausted, quietly rolled down the wall, holding his mouth, so God forbid, someone heard me.
Please let this be the end of it...
I woke up in my room this morning. My head begins to throb violently. Automatic swims last night. A huge lump rises in my throat. Gasp.
Clothe ourselves. Have breakfast. Went to school. Studiously pretend that all is well. That nothing happened. That I wasn't in love.
Let it all roll into the abyss. I have nothing to lose..
Defending my job at uni. Something.
"Fatim —" my classmate calls me. Even now, her kind of sweet voice annoys me.
I WHAT?
— I was wondering."
I Ask. I stare indifferently at the phone screen and stupidly leaf through the gallery.
— Who was the handsome man who stood up for you?" The girls and I have been discussing it for days. Oh, God, don't tell me it's your boyfriend, we're all gonna die of envy.
I light up like a match. There was a sharp sting in the lower left corner. I try not to show what's going on deep inside me.
I try to show the girl all the anger in his eyes.
Well? Who is he? Mysterious stranger?
I Am... I DO NOT KNOW. All? Sorry, I have to go.
Burn it all blue flames.
Leaving uni like a bullet. If only no one saw those tears-traitors.
Hate.
In the distance, I see his car and him in it... He walks slowly out of it with a swagger that will drive anyone crazy, and heads in my direction.
Trait.
I pretend I don't see him and I'm not so sure, I just try to get out of there.
A-Fatima..
I'M LEAVING. Forget all the way here. Forget me.
I already said I love you.
I - then stop loving me.
I Can't...
My stomach lurches, and my heart starts pounding. I wish he hadn't heard.
A-I have a fight at nine o'clock today. Street (said). I'll wait for you. I've been preparing for it for two years. And if you don't come, I can't win. This will be my first loss. I can't do it without you.
F-don't wait in vain. I'm not coming.
"Hello," breaks in our dialogue group.
Ashab looks at her incredulously, but greets her.
- Fatim, will you introduce us? the second one steps in.
"They don't know each other." another replies.
Askhab — So not familiar with?
Trait. I can see the disappointment in his eyes.
He turns and walks away.
----------------🌸
Half past eight. I pace the room back and forth. How is he?
I can't stand it and run out of the house as quietly as possible. If only not to be late and as luck would have it no car.
It took me twenty minutes to catch a cab. Just in time.
To be continued...