Demotivation is a factor that has a negative impact on our ability and desire to do something. Demotivation deprives us of faith in success, self-confidence, hope for the best, and so on. You may never have thought, but demotivation is what drives us.
We all had moments when we started to do something with great enthusiasm, and then someone's word, our thought, new information instantly extinguished something in us and we felt disappointed in the goal, in ourselves and in our abilities. Familiar?
Perhaps you have encountered this more than once. Would you like it not to happen again? So that nothing more interrupts your path to the goal? Not to be led astray by laziness, disappointment, discouragement, disbelief? Do you want to continue to feel like a shot bird, which still can not fly to warmer climes?
In this article you will read the main reasons why somewhere goes our ability to achieve, feel confident and believe in success, and you will get an antidote to the various negative factors that make it all happen.
Main causes of demotivation
Comparison
One of the main reasons for demotivation is to compare yourself to the most successful people. He lives a John DOE who is a good specialist in their field, made some career, now we ready to open your own business, when suddenly he realizes that there are people much smarter, richer, have more connections... And then its success pales compared to these celestials. Looking at them, he begins to think that in fact he is nothing compared to them. Seeing the Gulf that separates them, he begins to think that he will never be able to approach, and therefore it is not worth trying. Perhaps some of you are familiar with this.
But in fact it is not so. By focusing on the best, we fall into a mental trap. We begin to consider ourselves losers who have no chance in competition with the leaders. For example, many people do not start a business just because they believe that “everything has long been divided.” In fact, the world is constantly changing and there is always a chance to wedge into any niche.
What really matters is our dynamics. It doesn't matter how far our competitor has come. If we actively develop, each time surpassing ourselves, we will quickly catch up with even the most developed competitor.
The fact is that developed systems always lose in dynamics. Leaders tend to relax and underestimate the weaker.
Therefore, you should compare only with yourself. Comparison with ourselves is constructive, because it allows us to evaluate our dynamics. Comparison with others brings only demotivation, or, on the contrary, makes you overestimate yourself.
It's too hard
When we start a new business, we are not always clear about the scope of work. When we are a little “cook” in a new situation, we begin to realize that greatly underestimated the amount of what needs to be done. And then a person begins to think that he started this business for nothing.
I read somewhere a formula that describes how to consider labor costs. Now you will tell it in your own words.
You need to carefully calculate everything, take into account everything, write down the figure, and then multiply this figure by two and add another 20%. So we get a more or less real picture of what we have to do.
The fact is that people tend to make systematic errors of thinking, which in psychology are called cognitive distortions. I will not go too deep into this topic, but I note that people tend to embellish the reality in their favor.
When they are faced with reality, they often suffer greatly from the fact that they did not get what they wanted and as a result they give up excellent undertakings.
There's only one way to fight this. Always be prepared for something to go wrong. This happens all the time in life.
“Antipodality”
Quite often, people around us tend to evaluate us for themselves. This makes them make a lot of mistakes at your expense. One of which is that if this person knows that he would not be able to do anything in your situation, he thinks that you will not succeed. And with the best of intentions he tries to warn us, but in fact they are throwing mud at our dream. Demotivation from such words can be truly devastating.
However, each person is unique. What one can't do, the other can't do. Disaster for one is success for another.
Knowing this, you realize that you should listen less to other people, because it is very likely that people are wrong. It should be remembered that when a person says that you will not succeed, in fact, he actually means that he would not have succeeded.
A person does this not out of evil, but simply because he is sincerely mistaken about you. To others ' words should be treated easier. People just don't know you can. This information is owned only by you.
Negative experience
Another factor of demotivation may be the past negative experience. I will give an example from psychological practice. Sometimes it happens that in adolescence, a young man (or girl) refused the opposite sex, when they tried to get closer. This generates a certain negative experience that demotivates a person to the next attempt. As a result, people are left alone, although there may be a lot of people around who would not mind to start a relationship with them.
This is an example of demotivation based on negative experience. In fact, past negative experiences do not mean that we will fail again in the future. The world is a very complex system, and we can never know what caused the failure. It can be accidental external circumstances and ourselves. We can never know what was the key factor.
Therefore, you should never give up on yourself in anything. Personally, when things don't work out for me, I always think of the founder of KFC, who went bankrupt 42 times before founding a company that grew into a multibillion-dollar business. Why did he go bankrupt? Who knows? Maybe it was him, or maybe just had bad luck(this also happens). But that's no reason to stop trying.
Doubts
Our minds are amazing things. He always tries to model the future and the past. He is engaged in it constantly, after all for this purpose it was created. Sometimes he comes up with not very favorable scenarios for us what can happen. We call such scenarios doubts.
What if I can't do it? What if, when I invest, aliens come?
It is normal and good for us that we constantly model reality. It allows us to prepare for things to go wrong. However, quite often people are afraid of these scenarios and begin to think that it is the most negative of them and the situation will develop.
In fact, no one ever knows 100% what the future will be. Smart people can calculate probabilities, but nobody knows anything for sure. So it makes no sense to worry too much about the future, but it makes sense to prepare for this future. As the saying goes: “afraid of wolves — in the woods not to go.”
These were the 4 main causes of demotivation. You can't remember everything at once. However, you can turn to me with your case and we will analyze it.