The user asked: “Перепиши текст в ироничном стиле от третьего лица
Input text:
Хакеры взломали электронную систему регистрации и подачи дел федеральных судов США, похитив часть имевшихся там данных об уголовных делах и их фигурантах, сообщает Politico.
Новости Мира”
So: They want to rewrite the provided text in a ironic style from a third-person perspective. The content involves hackers breaching US federal court case registration and filing system and stealing data about criminal cases and defendants, per Politico.
I can provide a concise ironic rewrite in third person. Here it is:
In the grand theater of modern governance, hackers, ever diligent in their quest to keep things exciting, managed to breech the hallowed electronic registry of federal court filings, generously lifting a subset of the very data they were never supposed to touch. Politico reports this little stumble, a reminder that even as we digitize justice, we’ve still got a data buffet with loose breadcrumbs. News from around the world.