We called a Nurse Anesthetist to come to intubate her... she was my first COVID-19 positive patient to get intubated and generated an aerosolizing procedure in negative airflow. Prior to their arrival, I held X’s hand and asked her: “Tell me about how you feel?” She was tachypneic and gasping for air and said: “I am scared, but I have faith in you guys”......... Later, I silently cried inside the PAPR, because no one could see my tears inside the respirator. I felt powerless and felt uncertain about if she could ever recover from COVID-19. She was isolating herself at home, but from what I heard someone in her family went to a place and possibly caught Covid-19 and exposed her to it.
I am gone for 11 days now after working six days in a row (over 68 hrs and almost all of those days taking care of positive COVID-19 patients). I will be thinking of my patient who said she has faith on us, because in reality I have no idea if Remdesivir, convalescent plasma, mucolytics, or other things like stem cells, thyroid hormone T3, tocilizumab, losartan would help. Yes, we all feel like we want to re-open. I want things to be close to what was our normal too. But the price will have to be fortunate for some and unfortunate for others…… so hopefully people put their perspectives and be extra careful. Regards, Becky.