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The article is subjective and expresses the personal opinion of the author.
Only a few can stop themselves in irritation, therefore the execution of the rules below must be brought to automaticity - without thinking and faster than anger and loss of control over one’s own actions.
1. Feed / eat
Man is a living creature, although intelligent. So, if he is hungry, he is as nervous as a hungry tiger, which, as you know, can break at such moments. If your child or you yourself are nervous, feed him and yourself tightly: this is a proven way to relieve or reduce stress. It is no coincidence that in large companies there are always sweets and cookies on the table during meetings during meetings, and in fairy tales the first thing they advise is to feed the guest and steam in the bathhouse, and only then ask questions. Especially these: "How are you at school?" And "Have you done all the lessons?"
2. Relax and sleep
Almost all psychologists agree that fatigue and lack of sleep contribute to the manifestation of negativity and irritation. If we were rested, then in at least half the cases we would not show aggression, yell, snap and say unpleasant things. This applies to both adults and children.
If you feel that the child is tired, then forcing him to do something or "torturing" why he did bad today, is not only useless, but also dangerous for your health and your relationships. First, he needs to let him rest and recover, and then everything else. You, parents (and teachers), this also applies. Tired - rest first, and then talk to your children about business.
Remember that sleep is the best and indispensable form of relaxation. It is categorically impossible to solve any problems and do business due to sleep, because you will have to pay for it with your health.
3. Do not rush
Perhaps not everyone is aware of this, but almost a large part of our irritation and conflict occurs in time trouble. You are in a hurry somewhere (to work, to do household chores, to watch a movie - it doesn’t matter what), but here an obstacle appears that delays you and you begin to get nervous. Often this “obstacle” is your child. As a result, trying to “accelerate”, you are trembling nerves for yourself and your children. Moreover, the "acceleration" due to this is usually minimal - or it is, but at the cost of a significant loss of health.
A crumpled psyche is not an open fracture of the arm; you will not immediately see it. However, the consequences are much more serious, so never rush. Wait for your children as you need.
4. Do not rate
Another reason for annoyance is the constant comparison of children with a mythical ideal, “norms” or others (what they are, others, “good” children, you also have little idea). We are used to comparing and evaluating, and this knowledge definitely adds sorrow. It's like a horizon: it is always there, but you can never reach it. Exhausting race without the slightest sense.
5. Do not scare, but support
We often scare children with the threat of punishment. We think that there is no other way. Does this stop them? Rarely, but health takes a lot. In general, one of the most important functions (duties) of parents is to support their children. In any situations. Who else will support them in difficult times? If you replace threats with support in the same situations (no matter how improbable it may seem to you), then the nervous tension in your relationship will go away, an atmosphere will arise when dialogue becomes easy.
A simple example. Again deuce, everything is running, the deadline (end of the quarter) is inevitably overhanging. Instead of saving the situation at the last moment, the child worsened it to an extreme state. “But I said (a)!” A wave of anger is ready to go through the child like a tsunami, breaking everything and leaving only fragments. Deprive of everything: games, computer, friends! Punish that it was not good! Stop. It won’t get any better. Feed first and let rest. Try to hug and sympathize instead of reproaches, then take them to the countryside for the weekend, and only then look for the root causes and solutions together that can be done. To do it together, since one of your children can no longer cope, otherwise, I would have done it a long time ago.
6. Do not swear
Here you already laughed, right? If you swear, then annoyed. This, you say, is a natural manifestation. Swearing is a consequence, not a cause. So it is, but the form of dialogue matters. If, instead of reproaches and insults, you begin to ask questions, and not rhetorical (“Yes, when will this end ?!”), but essentially, after a while you will see the difference. Even the question “How will we fix this?” Is much better, since it translates the problem into a practical plane that requires action.
7. More nature, walks and classical music
If we talk about the prevention of irritation and strengthening the nervous system, then there is nothing better than nature. Listen to the sound of the surf or brook, as the noise of the forest and the sound of rain, breathe fresh air. Notice how the wind carries many anxieties and tensions away.
Walking is still good in that it is a kind of meditation, when the monotony of movement and the actually unstressed and accessible physical activity restores balance in the body. It also includes listening to classical music - it soothes. Although I am not a fan, I admit that there is a therapeutic effect, it is impossible to deny it.
Whatever happens is much worse. Children are still the most valuable thing you have. No matter what happens at school, besides this, there is still life, and no one needs to be deprived of it. If it’s bad in one place, do well in another. The nervous system will appreciate your desire for balance. Everyone has the right to make a mistake and to a new, happy day.
Good luck on the road to happiness! It is within you, within your family.
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